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What A Carve Up!
What A Carve Up!
Sep 2, 2025 7:45 PM

Author:Jonathan Coe,Alex Jennings,Jeff Rawle

What A Carve Up!

The downloadable audiobook edition of Jonathan's Coe satirical masterpiece, What a Carve Up!

A brilliant noir farce, a dystopian vision of Britain, a family history and the story of an obsession. Michael is a lonely, rather pathetic writer, obsessed by the film, 'What A Carve Up!' in which a mad knifeman cuts his way through the inhabitants of a decrepit stately pile as the thunder rages. Inexplicably he is commissioned to write the family history of the Winshaws, an upper class Yorkshire clan whose members have a finger in every establishment pie, from arms dealing to art dealing, from politics to banking to the popular press and factory farming. During his researches Michael realises that the Winshaws have cast a blight on his life, as they have on Britain. His confidence, his sexual and personal identity begin to reform. In a climax set in the Winshaw's family seat the novel turns into the film, 'What A Carve Up!' as a murderous maniac stalks the family and Michael discovers the significance of Shirley Eaton's lingerie.

'Everything a novel ought to be: courageous, challenging, funny, sad - and peopled with a fine troupe of characters' The Times

Abridged.

Read by Alex Jennings.

Reviews

'Now at last a highly literate, deeply read cavalry officer of high rank shows one the nature of horse-borne warfare in those times: and Colonel Mallinson's A Close Run Thing is very much to be welcomed.'

—— Patrick O'Brian

'As astonishingly impressive debut...Convincingly drawn, perfectly paced and expertly written...A joy to read'

—— Antony Beevor

'The scope of A Close Run Thing is quite breathtaking...A sustained piece of bravura writing'

—— Observer

'The account of the Battle of Waterloo is an imaginative feat of high order, owing as much as to thorough scholarship as it does to compassion and sensibility. Brilliantly conveyed.'

—— Daily Telegraph

'Allan Mallinson's grasp of the technical side of his subject is effortless and impressive...The portrayal of the men of all ranks is excellent.

—— Spectator

'An epic adventure...a book with a texture as rich as cut velvet, and a storyline as detailed as a Bruges tapestry. Patrick O'Brian may no longer be with us. But Mallinson has obviously taken up the historical baton'

—— The Birmingham Post

'Treads a middle course between the subtleties of O'Brian and the simplicities of Cornwell...An exciting, fast-moving story, full of bloody hacking with sabre and tulwar, which can at the same time be reflective and thoughtful about its setting and situation'

—— Evening Standard

'Rarely does one read the same book twice in one week. Mallinson writes with style, verve and the lucidity one would expect from a talented officer of l'arme blanche...His breadth of knowledge is deeply impressive even if it is modestly entwined in the fabric of this epic narrative. Kick on, Captain Hervey, we cannot wait for more'

—— Country Life

'Splendid news...Captain Matthew Hervey of the 6th Light Dragoons and ADC to the Duke of Wellington is back in the saddle...A marvellous read, paced like a well-balanced symphony. This is more than a ripping yarn...I look forward enormously to hearing more of Hervey's exploits; he is as fascinating on horseback as Jack Aubrey is on the quarterdeck'

—— The Times

A book of great maturity, beautifully alive to the fragility of happiness and all forms of violence... Everyone should read Saturday

—— Financial Times

The supreme novelist of his generation

—— Sunday Times

Dazzling... Profound and urgent

—— Observer

A brilliant novel.It is McEwan writing on absolute top form

—— Daily Mail

Refreshing and engrossing, dense with revelation. Superb

—— Independent on Sunday

A rich book, sensuous and thoughtful... McEwan has found in Saturday the right form to showcase his dazzling talents

—— The Times

McEwan is word-perfect at handling the awkward comedy of this relationship and, as ever, turning it into something far more disturbing

—— Observer

Two characters so vibrant they step straight off the page

—— Yvonne Cassidy , The Tablet

McEwan's brilliance as a novelist lies in his ability to isolate discrete moments in life and invest them with incredible significance

—— Tim Adams , Observer

McEwan's style is lean and clear...every sentence feels carefully crafted, the words all perfectly in place

—— John Harding , Daily Mail

A tightly focused human drama... McEwan gives the reader access to both characters' thoughts with his usual skill, and the comedy of embarrassment, or of the kind of erotic misunderstanding that Milan Kundera used to specialise in, quickly disappears as the marital bed begins to seem more and more ominous... The bedroom scene itself is carried off brilliantly

—— Christopher Taylor , Sunday Telegraph

A fine book, homing in with devastating precision on a kind of Englishness which McEwan understands better than any other living writer, the Englishness of deceit, evasion, repression and regret. In On Chesil Beach McEwan has combined the intensity of his narrowly focused early work with his more expansive later flowered to devastating effect

—— Justin Cartwright , Independent on Sunday

McEwan is the kind of author who can say more in a sentence than most can say in a chapter...This is a thoughtful book which provokes thought. But more immediately than that, this is a book which, while managing to be very funny, gives us a wonderful and moving portrait of a specific time, and two of its hostages, and of how to make a mess of love

—— Keith Ridgeway , Irish Times

McEwan conveys the near-numinous significance of a single moment with quiet, almost unbearable grace

—— Metro

A heavenly read

—— Marie Claire
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