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Phone
Phone
Dec 28, 2025 10:50 AM

Author:Will Self

Phone

'WHATEVER YOU DO hang on to the phone. . . . . . . . ! . . . . . . . . ! Feel the smoothness of its bevelled screen . . . . . . . . ! . . . . . . . . ! Place your thumb in the soft depression of its belly-button - turn it over and over. . . . . . . . ! . . . . . . . . ! A five hundred-quid worry bead - and all I worry about is losing the bloody thing. . . . . . . . ! . . . . . . . . !'

For the four characters at the heart of Will Self's brilliantly acute novel of our times the five hundred-quid worry bead in their pocket may be both a blessing and a curse. For elderly Dr Zachary Busner it is a mysterious object - 'NO CALLER ID - How should this be interpreted? Is it that the caller is devoid of an identity due to some psychological or physical trauma?' - but also it's his life line to his autistic grandson Ben, whose own connection with technology is, in turn, a vital one.

For Jonathan De'Ath , aka 'the Butcher', MI6 agent, the phone may reveal his best kept secret of all: that Colonel Gawain Thomas, husband, father, and highly-trained tank commander - is Jonathan 's long time lover.

And when technology, love and violence finally converge in the wreckage of postwar Iraq, the Colonel and the Spy's dalliance will determine the destiny of nations.

Uniting our most urgent contemporary concerns: from the ubiquitous mobile phone to a family in chaos; from the horror of modern war, to the end of privacy, Phone is Will Self's most important and compelling novel to date.

Reviews

A triumph ... Phone is the final instalment in one of the most ambitious and important literary projects of the 21st century ... It'll take you a couple of weeks to read all three novels properly. But I can't think of a better way to spend your time. Self's message is a perennially important one, brilliantly expressed: only connect

—— Observer

Brilliant ... a kind of epic anti-tweet ... what better riposte to a culture that thinks in fewer than 140 characters?

—— Daily Telegraph

This trilogy will be seen in years to come as one of the most significant literary works of our century, books that reflect and refract the hideousness of our times ... over and above the intellectual sprezzatura of the work, there is, at its heart, an emotional core, a profound sense of grief

—— New Statesman

A series of fast-paced, laugh-out-loud witty, disgusting and frequently well-observed scenes. He has a sharp ear for dialogue, and woven in and out of the surreal narrative are some of the wisest reflections on the folly of war (in this case the Gulf War) that you are likely to read outside the pages of Tolstoy

—— A.N. Wilson , Evening Standard

Addictive and compelling. Not to be missed

—— Daily Mail

There are marvels in store ... Self is profoundly interested in psychosis, paranoia, altered mental states, drug dependency , repetition compulsion and how our minds process time and memory

—— Times Literary Supplement

Teems with brilliance and originality

—— Attitude

A stunner

—— Mail on Sunday

Self has achieved the status of a true classic. He writes books that no one else could possibly write and which everyone admires ... he is in danger of becoming a national treasure... Self's books are radically funny raucous romps, understandable and enjoyable by just about anyone and everyone

—— Prospect

Self is the most daring and delightful novelist of his generation

—— Guardian

[A] hurricane of eloquence blows in terrific passages of satire, comedy, even suspense - not to mention Self's pitch-perfect ear for the jargons and lingoes of modernity

—— Boyd Tonkin , Financial Times

A brain-blitzing riff on war, technology and consciousness ... thrilling - who else is writing with this much freedom and verve right now?

—— Metro

A tale of the insights of the limitations of technology, the insights of schizophrenia, the abuses of modern warfare, and of a clandestine love affair

—— The Scotsman

A terrific historical novel with a thrilling, bloody twist. Alma Katsu’s brilliant reimagining of the Donner Party’s fate is rich with character, laden with imminent doom, and propelled by chilling mystery. A novel that book clubs and dark fiction fans should devour with equal relish.

—— CHRISTOPHER GOLDEN, author of Ararat

Katsu injects the supernatural into this brilliant retelling of the ill-fated Donner Party . . . fans of Dan Simmons’s The Terror will find familiar and welcome chills.

—— PUBLISHERS WEEKLY (starred review)

A riveting drama of power struggles and shifting alliances . . . the tensions [Katsu] creates are thrilling.

—— KIRKUS REVIEWS

If you think the story of the Donner Party can’t get more horrific, think again. In this gripping, atmospheric reimagining of that dark tale, Katsu has created a deeply unsettling and truly terrifying masterpiece.

—— JENNIFER McMAHON, author of The Winter People and Burntown

The lives and stories, loves and tragedies, animating From a Low and Quiet Sea are wonderfully individual and finely alive. This is a brief book: yet one that lingers long in the reader’s mind.

—— New Statesman

As moving as anything written about Syria

—— Mail on Sunday

It is vomit-inducing, it’s so good.

—— Kit de Waal, Observer

Bewitching…unforgettable...It takes a good writer to frame right and wrong within a coherent narrative and make it not feel like a finger-wagging sermon. It takes a great one, however, to make the contents heave and sigh before your eyes.’

—— Irish Independent

Empathy shines through the work

—— Sunday Independent

Ryan has the ability to shatter your heart into a million pieces with every book he writes - and even have you welcome the pain.

—— Stylist

An example of masterful storytelling

—— RTE Culture

With each novel Ryan gets better, and this moving and quietly insistent work is his best yet.

—— RTE Guide

You can sense his compassion in the bones of his work

—— Sunday Business Post

Devastating and masterful

—— Irish Country Magazine

A hugely affecting, moving read. I was heartbroken by the end, but adored every chapter

—— Image Magazine

Beautiful

—— Woman’s Way

Each section displays Ryan’s range as a writer... [he] writes with brilliant empathy.

—— Boston Globe

Exquisitely rendered, with raw anguish sublimated into lyrical prose.

—— Washington Post

Heartbreaking … Arguably the best of the new wave of Irish writers to have emerged over the last decade

—— Irish Mail on the Sunday, Books of the Year

Ryan has the gift of ventriloquism - he inhabits his fictional creations thoroughly, enveloping you in their worlds

—— Sunday Business Post, Books of the Year

Sublime

—— Irish Independent, Books of the Year

From a Low and Quiet Sea by Donal Ryan made me laugh and cry and forced me to look strangers in the eye

—— Liz Nugent , Irish Times, Books of the Year

Beautifully bleak and characterised by his remarkable ability to write about grief and common humanities.

—— Diarmaid Ferriter , Irish Times, Books of the Year

Beautiful, compassionate

—— Sinéad Crowley , RTÉ Culture, Best Books of 2018

Superlatives wouldn’t do for describing From a Low and Quiet Sea … understated, and gloriously heart rendering

—— Hot Press, Books of the Year

Strout turns her clear, incisive gaze on the intricacies and betrayals of small town life

—— Maggie O'Farrell

Anything is Possible is predictably great because it's written by Elizabeth Strout, and brilliantly unpredictable - because it is written by Elizabeth Strout

—— Roddy Doyle
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