Part Seven: Chapter 27

by Leo Tolstoy

　　"He has gone! It is over!" Anna said to herself, standing at thewindow; and in answer to this statement the impression of thedarkness when the candle had flickered out, and of her fearfuldream mingling into one, filled her heart with cold terror.

　　"No, that cannot be!" she cried, and crossing the room she rangthe bell. She was so afraid now of being alone, that withoutwaiting for the servant to come in, she went out to meet him.

　　"Iquire where the count has gone," she said. The servantanswered that the count had gone to the stable.

　　"His honor left word that if you cared to drive out, the carriagewould be back immediately."

　　"Very good. Wait a minute. I'll write a note at once. SendMihail with the note to the stables. Make haste."

　　She sat down and wrote:

　　"I was wrong. Come back home; I must explain. For God's sakecome! I'm afraid."

　　She sealed it up and gave it to the servant.

　　She was afraid of being left alone now; she followed the servantout of the room, and went to the nursery.

　　"Why, this isn't it, this isn't he! Where are his blue eyes, hissweet, shy smile?" was her first thought when she saw her chubbyrosy little girl with her black, curly hair instead of Seryozha,whom in the tangle of her ideas she had expected to see in thenursery. The little girl sitting at the table was obstinatelyand violently battering on it with a cork, and staring aimlesslyat her mother with her pitch-black eyes. Answering the Englishnurse that she was quite well, and that she was going to thecountry tomorrow, Anna sat down by the little girl and beganspinning the cork to show her. But the child's loud, ringinglaugh, and the motion of her eyebrows, recalled Vronsky sovividly that she got up hurriedly, restraining her sobs, and wentaway. "Can it be all over? No, it cannot be!" she thought. "Hewill come back. But how can he explain that smile, thatexcitement after he had been talking to her? But even if hedoesn't explain, I will believe. If I don't believe, there'sonly one thing left for me, and I can't."

　　She looked at her watch. Twenty minutes had passed. "By now hehas received the note and is coming back. Not long, ten minutesmore.... But what if he doesn't come? No, that cannot be. Hemustn't see me with tear-stained eyes. I'll go and wash. Yes,yes; did I do my hair or not?" she asked herself. And she couldnot remember. She felt her head with her hand. "Yes, my hairhas been done, but when I did it I can't in the least remember."She could not believe the evidence of her hand, and went up tothe pier glass to see whether she really had done her hair. Shecertainly had, but she could not think when she had done it."Who's that?" she thought, looking in the looking glass at theswollen face with strangely glittering eyes, that looked in ascared way at her. "Why, it's I!" she suddenly understood, andlooking round, she seemed all at once to feel his kisses on her,and twitched her shoulders, shuddering. Then she lifted her handto her lips and kissed it.

　　"What is it? Why, I'm going out of my mind!" and she went intoher bedroom, where Annushka was tidying the room.

　　"Annushka," she said, coming to a standstill before her, and shestared at the maid, not knowing what to say to her.

　　"You meant to go and see Darya Alexandrovna," said the girl, asthough she understood.

　　"Darya Alexandrovna? Yes, I'll go."

　　"Fifteen minutes there, fifteen minutes back. He's coming, he'llbe here soon." She took out her watch and looked at it. "Buthow could he go away, leaving me in such a state? How can helive, without making it up with me?" She went to the window andbegan looking into the street. Judging by the time, he might beback now. But her calculations might be wrong, and she beganonce more to recall when he had started and to count the minutes.

　　At the moment when she had moved away to the big clock to compareit with her watch, someone drove up. Glancing out of the window,she saw his carriage. But no one came upstairs, and voices couldbe heard below. It was the messenger who had come back in thecarriage. She went down to him.

　　"We didn't catch the count. The count had driven off on thelower city road."

　　"What do you say? What!..." she said to the rosy, good-humoredMihail, as he handed her back her note.

　　"Why, then, he has never received it!" she thought.

　　"Go with this note to Countess Vronskaya's place, you know? andbring an answer back immediately," she said to the messenger.

　　"And I, what am I going to do?" she thought. "Yes, I'm going toDolly's, that's true or else I shall go out of my mind. Yes, andI can telegraph, too." And she wrote a telegram. "I absolutelymust talk to you; come at once." After sending off the telegram,she went to dress. When she was dressed and in her hat, sheglanced again into the eyes of the plump, comfortable-lookingAnnushka. There was unmistakable sympathy in those good-naturedlittle gray eyes.

　　"Annushka, dear, what am I to do?" said Anna, sobbing and sinkinghelplessly into a chair.

　　"Why fret yourself so, Anna Arkadyevna? Why, there's nothing outof the way. You drive out a little, and it'll cheer you up,"said the maid.

　　"Yes, I'm going," said Anna, rousing herself and getting up."And if there's a telegram while I'm away, send it on to DaryaAlexandrovna's...but no, I shall be back myself."

　　"Yes, I mustn't think, I must do something, drive somewhere, andmost of all, get out of this house," she said, feeling withterror the strange turmoil going on in her own heart, and shemade haste to go out and get into the carriage.

　　"Where to?" asked Pyotr before getting onto the bow

　　"To Znamenka, the Oblonskys'."