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Star Wars: The Perfect Weapon (Short Story)
Star Wars: The Perfect Weapon (Short Story)
Jan 18, 2026 8:08 AM

Author:Delilah S. Dawson

Star Wars: The Perfect Weapon (Short Story)

Journey to Star Wars: The Force Awakens with this exclusive ebook short story set shortly before the events of the film, featuring a quick-witted mercenary who takes big risks for bigger rewards—and now faces the challenge that will take her to the edge.

There are plenty of mercenaries, spies, and guns for hire in the galaxy. But probably none as dangerous and determined as Bazine Netal. A master of disguise—and lethal with a blade, a blaster, or bare handed—she learned from the best. Now it’s her turn to be the teacher—even if schooling an eager but inexperienced recruit in the tricks of her trade is the last thing she wants to do. But it’s the only way to score the ship she needs to pull off her latest job.

An anonymous client has hired Bazine to track down an ex-stormtrooper and recover the mysterious package he’s safeguarding. Payment for the mission promises to be astronomical, but the obstacles facing Bazine will prove to be formidable. And though her eager new sidekick has cyber skills crucial to the mission, only Bazine’s razor-sharp talents will mean the difference between success or failure—and life or death.

Reviews

Virtuoso

—— New York Review of Books

Caroline Alexander's Iliad is miraculous. It has the rhythms and even the lineation of the original Homeric text. Its language conveys the precise meaning of the Greek in a sinewy yet propulsive style that drives the reader inexorably forward. In my judgement, this new translation is far superior to the familiar and admired work of Lattimore, Fitzgerald and Fagles

—— G.W. Bowersock, Institute for Advanced Study, Princeton

Of the many new translations of Homer’s poem that have come out in the past two or three years, perhaps the most highly readable is Caroline Alexander’s. Thought to be the first woman to have Englished the poem, Alexander embraces Matthew Arnold’s four essential Homeric qualities: rapidity, plainness of style, simplicity of ideas and nobility of manner, in lines that ebb and flow with the tide of battle. The book wears its learning lightly, the introduction pitching the Iliad as the ultimate anti-war poem.

—— Times Literary Supplement

The Homeric Iliad originates from a rich tradition of performing song. It was meant to be heard. True to the living word of the original Greek, Caroline Alexander’s new translation invites us to engage directly with this tradition. When I read her verses I can almost hear the music of Homeric performance.

—— Professor Gregory Nagy, Professor of Classical Greek Literarture, Harvard University

Caroline Alexander has done admirably in rendering the meaning of the Homeric text faithfully and suitably dignified language. The format gives a genuine sense of reading a verse epic. Her line-numbers match the Greek, which will make this version convenient for use by college teachers and students

—— Martin West, Emeritus Fellow of All Souls College, Oxford

This powerful and readable version of the Iliad is modern without sacrificing the accuracy, energy, or the seriousness of the original. It is a toss-up between Alexander’s translation and Lattimore’s version

—— Library Journal

There is an epic poise to this new translation, whose varied line lengths ebb and flow with the tides of battle… Translucent, readable and recitable.

—— A.E. Stallings , Spectator

Lurid & Cute is strong enough to make admirers out of detractors

—— Malcolm Forbes , National

Lurid & Cute, which begins as…an exercise in pure style, also reveals itself as a very earnest critique of the morals of a pampered generation

—— Adam Kirsch , Atlantic

A phantasmagoric tale of a modern world full of sex and violence, which is both funny and shocking.

—— A. S. Byatt , Spectator

Thirlwell’s narrative is packed with bold similes and outlandish events.

—— Daily Telegraph

The dialogue is laugh-out-loud funny.

—— Tamim Sadikali , Bookmunch

Beautifully told in an engaging way by a stylist at the very top of his game.

—— William Leith , Evening Standard

Lurid and Cute is a breathless stream of conscientiousness of an unnamed hero whose aimless life is ultimately set to self-destruction. There is an element of Tarantino in the sex, violence and freneticism of the book.

—— Amelia Ashton , Nudge

Absorbing, entertaining and spiky tale full of twists, turns and ruthless double

—— Daily Express

A clever book that makes you laugh, makes you angry - and makes you wonder whose side you would take if it happened to you . . .

—— Woman

Darkly comic new novel… A gripping tale of love, death, art and a pound of flesh – as well as plastic surgery… Jacobson examines contemporary issues of Jewish identity with his sharp, biting, northern humour. He asks what it means to be a father, a Jew and a merciful human being in today’s modern world. He is the first author brave enough to take up the challenge of re-imagining the Bard’s most controversial tragedy, in a bid to tackle its much-debated tones of anti-Semitism.

—— Rebecca Wallersteiner , The Jewish News

This complex book challenges all assumptions, never shying away from controversy… For every bitter take on human shortcomings here decried, there is a counterbalancing acknowledgment of the grace inherent in human nature. The novel captures the essence of the original.

—— Christina Hunt Mahony , Irish Times

Howard Jacobson’s masterful retelling of The Merchant of Venice celebrates the play but speaks for itself about being Jewish… Jacobson [is] a skilful craftsman as well as an artist of rare individuality… He has written a comic novel which poses serious questions. He has been both inventive and faithful to Shakespeare. And as a bonus, he gives us a good many excellent Jewish jokes.

—— Allan Massie , The Scotsman

Jacobson preserves the sense of ambiguity and uncertainty…that gives Shakespeare’s play much of its unsettling force… [My Name is Shylock] is the product of deep thought, deep feeling, deep scholarship. But this book is never leaden or lenten. It is fresh, exuberant, funny, almost preposterously entertaining and engaging. It is also possessed of an irony, wit and restless addiction to exploring conflicting arguments that leaves you feeling enriched… Jacobson’s prose is…vibrant, inventive, precise, arresting and full of memorable cadences and elegant modulations… A stunning achievement.

—— Matthew Adams , The National

My Name is Shylock does ample justice to the legacy of Shakespeare’s classic story… Jacobson has proved that his command of the art of storytelling is worthy of renewed praise.

—— UK Press Syndication

Jacobson’s Mancunian Jewish voice (last seen to splendid effect in The Mighty Walzer) is rare enough. But when this voice is combined with high culture and rude comedy it is, despite its abject subject matter, utterly life-affirming.

—— Bryan Cheyette , The Times Literary Supplement

Expect …The kind of comic intelligence that has made his name

—— Sam Parker , Esquire

Set in a world of unimaginable wealth, football player celebrity, cosmetic surgery and reality TV, My Name Is Shylock does ample justice to the legacy of Shakespeare's classic story of honouring a debt with perhaps the ultimate sacrifice.

—— Roddy Brooks , The Northern Echo

The winner of the Man Booker Prize for The Finkler Question pulls off a neat trick in this almost perversely serious comic novel, creating a parallel world to Shakespeare's Venice in the wealthy, cultured Golden Triangle of Cheshire, and peopling it with parallel-ish characters...The author shows full power and ingenuity putting Strulovitch and Shylock in the same place and time.

—— Paul Levy , The Spectator

Explores the meaning of Shakespeare's play, uses its enduring relevance to examine the contemporary world and challenges us to interrogate our prejudices...Energetic, authentic and biting.

—— Independent

That Shylock should thus materialise for a present-day Jewish protagonist, and become...a confidant, an exemplar...an advisor is a brilliant conceit...a powerful reimagining and reinvention.

—— Adam Lively , The Sunday Times

Alive with humanity and fierce debate, the book offers a nice twist on that notorious pound of flesh.

—— Hephzibah Anderson , Mail on Sunday

Funny and dark by turns… A gripping tale of love, plastic surgery and that notorious pound of flesh… This warm, witty and brilliantly written book provides a challenging feast for the imagination.

—— Rebecca Wallersteiner , The Lady

A master of serious-minded comedy, Jacobson is one of the greats of his generation.

—— Culture Whisper

Brilliantly witty inventive.

—— Kate Saunders , Saga

A crackling dialectic on fatherhood, faith and what it means to be merciful… The echoes of Shakespeare’s story in Strulovitch’s are obvious…But the quips and the characters are pure Jacobson… It’s a treat.

—— Emma Hughes , The Tablet

A clear-eyed reflection on modern Jewish identity.

—— Jerry Brotton , Daily Telegraph

Perhaps the most enjoyable thing, fittingly, is how it reads and rereads the play.

—— James Lasdun , Guardian Weekly

Hilarious reimagining of Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice.

—— Esquire

Offering witty twists to a play long experienced by many as a racial tragedy.

—— Tova Reich , Washington Post

Affectionate retelling… At the heart of the novel is the profound question of whether obligation…should be tempered by mercy.

—— Giulia Miller , Jewish Quarterly

Even those familiar with that book will be surprised by the twists now composed by Jacobson, whose most idle words have purpose, as well as point… Clever mockery and racial self-depreciation give the novel its provocative brilliance… Jacobson pours the quality of mercy through a large strainer, but Shylock’s fortitude and unswerving tribal fidelity are offered as a kind of redemption, a way, if you like, of forgiving Shakespeare. And of sending you back to him, not only just to check

—— Mary leland , Irish Examiner

As characteristically ingenious, witty and dark as his musings on what it means to be Jewish.

—— Simon Shaw , Mail on Sunday

It hooks you into a great debate.

—— William Leith , Evening Standard

I don’t think any other author writes as well about the experience of Jewishness and he manages to be serious but with that laconic humour.

—— Tony Robinson , Radio Times Christmas Gift Guide

An intelligent, funny and enjoyable novel.

—— Brad Davies , i, Book of the Year

For my favourite novel I’m choosing Shylock is my Name… It’s a dark, witty, provocative re-imagine of Shakespeare…seriously brilliant on many levels.

—— Bel Mooney , Daily Mail, Book of the Year

The fear, danger and paranoia felt in those times rise memorably from the pages.

—— Choice Magazine

Barnes stands out, so vivid are his images and so poignant his insights. His works stand among the classics of the postmodern era, and for good reason.

—— Ben Craik , Upcoming

A marvellous meditation on the Cold War era and particularly the battles of conscience that besiege a man living under tyranny.

—— Richard Fitzpatrick , Irish Examiner

The tone is intimate and aphoristic, the paragraphs succinct.

—— David Gutman , Gramophone

A fascinating account of the life of Dimitri Shostakovich… Perceptive, symbolic… The Noise of Time is an essential read, and not only for musicians.

—— Classical Music

A finely-tuned masterpiece... Barnes' prose is supreme.

—— Western Morning News

An intimate portrait of a public intellectual living in a totalitarian atmosphere… Immersive… The Noise of Time presents a compelling story in engaging and original prose.

—— Conor O'Donovan , Headstuff

Kaleidoscopic portrait… Barnes deftly constructs a life history... A masterfully told story of survival. *****

—— Nick Shave , BBC Music Magazine

Beautifully composed.

—— Jenny Comita , W Magazine

Without a doubt, Barnes has succeeded the high expectations of the people who waited with bated breath for the release of The Noise of Time. In a work that feels both original and authentic, he encourages us to consider the importance of art, in whatever form, and the influence it can have on us all.

—— Beth Blakemore , Student Newspaper

Barnes at his best...a poignant fictional recreation of the artistic agonies of the composer Shostakovich.

—— Sunday Times

A very sensitive account of how art can be in conflict with naked political power.

—— Observer

A book I’d like to tuck myself away for a day to read. It’s short in length but by all accounts big on ideas and power.

—— Susie Dent , Radio Times Christmas Gift Guide

His Dmitri Shostakovich is completely believable.

—— Margaret MacMillan , New Statesman, Book of the Year

[A] brilliant study of the relationship between art and an oppressive regime… A compelling depiction of the country’s history and a richly imagined close-up of the artist.

—— Lady, Book of the Year

A poignant and thoughtful portrait of the persecuted artist.

—— Brad Davies , i, Book of the Year

[It is] elegant.

—— Duncan White , Daily Telegraph, Book of the Year

Another Brilliant reinvention by Barnes.

—— Daily Telegraph, Book of the Year #26

My favourite book of this year is The Noise of Time.

—— Margaret MacMillan , New Statesman, Book of the Year

His best for ages. It is gripping, outward-looking, generous with plot and atmosphere and far beyond the powers of McEwan, Amis, Ishiguro, Rushidie et al…. This book grabbed me by the nuts like nothing of his since Starting at the Sun.

—— Giles Coren , The Times, Book of the Year

[A] haunting novel on the agonies of Shostakovitch under Stalin and his successors… I recommended it to a friend who for years was one of the great reviewers at the Washington Post. His reply: “It’s an extraordinary book. It’s a book that makes me wish I were reviewing again.”

—— Alex Russell , Financial Times, Book of the Year

A mini-masterpiece.

—— Rebecca Rose , Financial Times, Book of the Year

An elegant portrait of Shostakovitch.

—— Ali Smith , Guardian, Book of the Year

Written with Barnes’ characteristic low-key elegance, the book becomes a meditation on artistic integrity and its limits in a brutal regime

—— Irish Independent, Book of the Year

An impressive narrative of personal integrity.

—— G. Van Der Zwaan , Times Higher Education, Book of the Year

As a portrait of the composer and his time this book is a complete success… The Noise of Time is also convincing in the details… A book in which a certain grim humour is never too far away.

—— Nicholas Lezard , Guardian

[A] gem of a novel.

—— Mail on Sunday

A compelling read that combines sharp insights, lyrical passages and dramatic tension.

—— Lady

Black humour and retrospective anguish prevail in Julian Barnes’s latest novel.

—— Lara Enoch , Guardian

A beautifully told story, this is subtle and powerful.

—— William Leith , Evening Standard

This small novel is an elegant and unflinching account of a life lived under extreme pressure, during Stalin’s Great Terror. Julian Barnes fleshes out the life of the composer Shostakovich whose life is under threat. A powerful story, well-crafted and beautifully written about the humanity and torments of a creative soul… An informative, thought provoking read.

—— Western Morning News

An immense emotional and intellectual punch.

—— Sunday Times
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