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Pistache
Pistache
Jan 11, 2026 5:03 PM

Author:Sebastian Faulks

Pistache

pistache (pis-tash): a friendly spoof or parody of another's work. [Deriv uncertain. Possibly a cross between pastiche and p**stake.]

From Thomas Hardy's football report to Dan Brown's visit to the cash dispenser, the work of the great and the not-so-great is here sent up with little hope of coming down.

Most of these pieces began their life on Radio Four's The Write Stuff, but have been retooled for the printed page. Others, such as Martin Amis's first day at Hogwarts, have been written specially for this collection.

Philip Larkin's Lines in Celebration of the Queen Mother's 115th Birthday, first banned, then cut by the BBC, appears in its entirety for the first time.

This is not a book for the faint-hearted or the downstairs lavatory. It is a book for the bedside table of someone you cannot live without.

Reviews

Unforgivably witty

—— Sunday Telegraph

Faulks picks up the big names of the Western canon and plonks them down mercilessly in the most unexpected places

—— The Times

Marvellously funny

—— Jilly Cooper

I think Isabel and I were twins separated at birth. I love her!

—— Katie Fforde

I quite fell in love with Isabel. Funny, charming and accident-prone, she is the perfect heroine for today

—— Penny Vincenzi

The ultimate beach novel ... a tale that'll have you giggling

—— Daily Mirror

Ali has chosen a workplace that, though familliar through television shows, remains fascinating, and the kitchen scenes are superb...Ali's prose is often beautiful and there are flashes of Brick Lane's buoyant comedy

—— Observer

Few writers these days can strip characters to their very souls like Ali does

—— Entertainment Weekly

In the Kitchen works best as a novel about work. Ali has done her homework on restaurant kitchens and weaving, and uses both as sustained metaphors for contrasting visions of society: the cohesive social fabric nostalgically remembered by Gabe's father and his peers, and the melting pot of Gabe's kitchen in the contemporary world of deregulated labour.

—— Guardian

Ali lulls us into thinking this will be a conventional enough murder mystery. But to the familiar tale of life in the big city spinning out of control, she brings what Orwell called the "power of facing unpleasant facts" dissecting the body politic with acuity and humour - and confronting unpalatable truths about our selfishness and complicity

—— Times Literary Supplement

In The Kitchen shows Ali returning to the tensions, problems and promises of multicultural Britain...The portrayal of the battle-stations camaraderie and the banter of a top-flight kitchen is the great strength of this novel and the source of much of its humour and interest

—— Literary Review

A fast and fascinating storyteller, sure-footed with plot, pitch-perfect with character, who is also a gimlet-eyed and sharp-tongued political and cultural critic of modern times. Food, love, death, politics, crime, celebrity - all these ingredients are served up by the writer as a fresh and flavoursome literary stir-fy.

—— Saga Magazine

Deeply flawed and wildly sympathetic [...] Gabriel Lightfoot is an unforgettable protagonist, his descent into lunacy frighteningly recognizable, individual, profound

—— O, The Oprah Magazine

Broader storylines are skillfully woven into Gabe's selfish charms. The community of a vanishing textile mill industry in which Gabe grew up is being replaced by multinational and illegal workers, and this naturally works itself into every chapter. But it is the self-destructive Gabe who will keep you turning pages

—— St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Ms. Ali brings a lively intelligence to her work, and her account of Gabriel's mental breakdown, set against shifting scenes of London, is vivid and well done

—— Wall Street Journal

With sometimes sly humor, Ali deftly sheds light on the irony of struggling in a land with abundant opportunities

—— Library Journal

The author of the famed 2003 novel "Brick Lane" has delivered an entertaining, poignant tale

—— Cleveland Plain Dealer

Dazzingly describes the manic goings-on in the kitchen of a central London hotel

—— The Sunday Times

Ali skilfully seasons her stew of a plot ...A cleverly written tale of lust, trafficking and ambition, In the Kitchen has pace and intrigue and a dash of piquant humour.

—— Financial Times
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