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Never Kiss Your Roommate
Never Kiss Your Roommate
Mar 17, 2026 2:39 AM

Author:Philline Harms

Never Kiss Your Roommate

Welcome to Seven Hills Academy, where gossip roams the halls.Seven Hills Academy: the world's most exclusive boarding school. Being committed to your studies, service and community doesn't mean that you can't break the rules now and again, right?

But watch your back because lurking on the anonymous Chitter Chatter blog is The Watcher-who can't wait to reveal all the latest hookups, hot lists and secrets around campus. The latest objects of The Watcher's affection? Straight-off-the-train (but not exactly straight) insta-besties Evelyn and Seth.

It doesn't take long for Evelyn to realize she is inexplicably drawn to her gorgeous and standoffish roommate Noelle. Meanwhile Seth has eyes, and some serious heart palpitations, for budding thespian and school flirt Jasper. Just as things start to heat up, The Watcher strikes-will the secrets revealed turn their happily ever afters into happily never afters?

Reviews

Riveting...the words blaze and bounce across the page

—— Claire-Louise Bennett, author of Checkout 19

I adore this book... Shows us the burning, intense, messy beauty of youth

—— Maxine Peake

A stunning, vivid and very funny debut

—— Saskia Vogel, author of Permission

This is such a special book. With deeply joyful pace, and rhythm, I grew as obsessed with the prose itself as I did with the plot and characters. As things in the Big World seem to get more binary, An Experiment in Leisure plunders the grey area with wit and forgiveness - and that's exactly where I wanted to be

—— Tom Rasmussen, author of First Comes Love

Remarkably assured... An attractive aspect of Glendenning's writing is the warmth with which she suffuses not just Grace but her whole cast of characters

—— Daily Telegraph

An Experiment in Leisure is an absolutely riveting novel that is both full of life and full of loneliness. Glendenning's words blaze and bounce across the page, brilliantly evoking the bizarre paradox that dogs early adulthood - namely, feeling intensely self-conscious despite possessing only the merest most nascent sense of having a self. A dizzying yet powerful read

—— Claire-Louise Bennett

I adore this book! It's a short, sharp shot of oxygen straight to the soul. An exquisite mix of agonising pain and unbridled joy. An Experiment in Leisure shows us the burning, intense, messy beauty of youth and what it means to be alive

—— Maxine Peake

A stunning, vivid and very funny debut about loss, family and the search for self-knowledge and a meaningful life. It's about the language of the heart, and how encountering those who speak a common tongue can shape the course of a life

—— Saskia Vogel

A deft exploration of millennial angst

—— Lucy Popescu , Tablet

‘A joyfully weird, compulsive political satire'

—— MAIL ON SUNDAY

Inventive and darkly funny...as Anthony connects characters from today with those from 19th-century England, she offers an original and unsettling lens through which to view male power as it has evolved over time.

—— TIME

‘Weird, wonderful, and very much of the moment, Enter the Aardvark is a landmark political novel of the Trump era.’

—— ESQUIRE.COM Best Books of 2020

The scope of Anthony’s imagination can sometimes beggar belief. What a mind she has. As the narrative twists between the past and the present, it seems like anything could happen at any time….a hilariously poisonous evisceration of the cowardly, disingenuous politicians running rampant through Trump’s Washington.

—— CULTUREFLY

‘Sometimes, a paragraph near the start of a novel is so perfect and funny that you read it over and over, laugh every time, and know you’re in for a treat…I'm loving it. Completely insane but utterly hilarious’

—— JOHN BOYNE

‘A curious, surprising and moving story about two men who— to put it one way — become involved with an aardvark and thereby condemn themselves to death.’

—— THE CRITIC

Like A.S. Byatt like with a demented sense of humor… [Jessica Anthony] holds up a funhouse mirror to our own political media in the age of spin…with sentences reminiscent of Joyce’s Dubliners and the later works of T. S. Eliot.

—— LA REVIEW OF BOOKS

A wild ride and might just be the perfect antidote to the wild ride we’re in in real life].

—— ELECTRIC LIT

The structure doesn’t so much intrigue as ensnare you, weaving its cat’s cradle of a plot as you lie there, strapped to a table... “Enter the Aardvark” is brutally suited to our moment of absurd political theater.

—— LA TIMES

A blisteringly innovative and outrageous novel...If you're searching for a sharp, looking-glass view into the far end of contemporary politics, look no further. Jessica Anthony's novel has the pacing of a thriller with satirical verve of Nathanael West.

—— NY OBSERVER

'Enter the Aardvark is one wild ride: a condemnation, a haunting, a song of love, a madcap political thriller—and it is absolutely unputdownable.' LAURA VAN DEN BERG, author of THE THIRD HOTEL

—— LAURA VAN DER BERG, author of THR THIRD HOTEL

'Hilarious, moving, ingenious... Enter the Aardvark is an absolute original.'

—— BROCK CLARKE, author of WHO ARE YOU, CALVIN BLEDSOE?

Absolutely fascinating! If you're a fan of Jurassic Park, Tahereh Mafi & Marie Lu's work, then this is the perfect book for you!

—— A Bookish Star

I really liked this book. Right from the start the story drew me in . . . I can't wait for the next book

—— Mugful of Books

So enjoyable and a super fast read . . . Made me feel proud of being a STEM girl . . . Go read this book for the adventure and discovery!

—— REBIREADS

Now THIS is a book I really enjoyed . . . covers some really great themes that are both topical and interesting. Social psychology, anthropology, paleontology, bias, racism, ethics - it's got it all!

—— Horner's Book Corner

Fascinating . . . has twists & turns & even broke my heart into tiny little pieces. I'd recommend this to fans of the Hunger Games, Maze Runner & Ready Player One.

—— BOOKIEMAMABEAR

This Jurassic Park-esque concept grabbed me immediately . . . a fresh, gripping read with themes of suspense, trust, ethics and friendships

—— Book Phenomena

I absolutely devoured this book . . . Warren did a perfect job of pulling me in and answering some of my questions, but leaving enough of it unanswered so that I want more . . . and I definitely do! I can't wait for the next instalment!

—— Elle Reads Books

Hypnotising... you won't want to put it down until the very last page

—— Harper's Bazaar

You'll find sisterhood at the heart of this ambitious book

—— New York Times Book Review

Galgut is a terrifically agile and consistently interesting novelist, certain up there with Nadine Gordimer and JM Coetzee as a chronicler of his nation's anguished complexity

—— Jon Day , Guardian, *Book of the Week*

[A] magnificent new novel. Galgut sweeps his ruthlessly forensic gaze over each of the protagonists...as well as the country at large

—— Laura Battle , Financial Times, *Summer Reads of 2021*

Labelled a masterpiece and one of the best novels of the year within a week of publication... Galgut is on his finest form as he explores grief, despair and love in his inimitable style. Read this book if nothing else this year.

—— A Little Bird, *Summer Reads of 2021*

[A] gripping, profound tale... a damning commentary on South Africa's many broken promises

—— Economist

Ingenious... The most distinctive element of the novel, and its greatest pleasure, is the effortless way Galgut flows from mind to mind and body to body, whether male, female, pubertal, menopausal, maturing, ageing or dying. It's almost uncanny

—— Suzi Feay , Spectator

Surrender to the music of Galgut's prose, however, and the rewards are considerable

—— Max Liu , i

Excellent... The Promise is a powerful novel of character... [an] ambitious novel but, remarkably, Galgut rarely needs to strain for impact... his ability deftly to shift perspective from one character to the next creates a distinctive polyphonic effect

—— Alun David , Jewish Chronicle

A convincing and heartfelt novel

—— Eva Waite-Taylor , Independent

Politically chastening and technically superb. It's hard to see any novel beating it

—— Claire Allfree , Daily Telegraph

A powerful read

—— World of Cruising

This is the finest of all Damon Galgut's extraordinary novels. It reads as if the author has liberated himself from certain shackles he has needed in the past to convey the feelings of repression and social discomfort his people suffer... The writing - so impish, so playful - is a constant joy

—— Paul Bailey , Oldie

Vivid and suggestive, moving and often very funny

—— Alex Clark , Daily Telegraph, *Books of the Year*

Damon Galgut is the most worthy winner of the Booker prize we've seen for many years... The book trembles in the hand with its political relevance

—— Rose Tremain , New Statesman, *Books of the Year*

A sobering allegory, to be sure, but also a giddy pleasure, thanks to Galgut's restlessly acrobatic narrative voice, which darts and zooms unpredictably around the action

—— Anthony Cummins , Daily Mail, *Christmas Gift Guide 2021*

One of the world's great writers

—— Critic, *Books of the Year*

A dazzling feat of kaleidoscopic storytelling

—— Claire Allfree , The Times, *Books of the Year*

I would have chosen this novel before it won the Booker... What makes it special is the humanity with which it is written and Galgut's cinematic prose, which shifts seamlessly from one perspective to the next

—— Elizabeth Day , i, *Book of the Year*

The Promise...is a remarkable tale of four generations of one South African family and of the country itself. Like his earlier books, it reveals him as a master of human complexity. No wonder it won the Booker

—— Joan Bakewell , Observer, *Books of the Year*

A complex, clever, wryly observant tale of one family's decline amid a nation's birth

—— Patricia Nicol , Sunday Times, *Books of the Year*

[A] masterful, sweeping novel... a piercing dissection of a country at a decisive historical junction and the intersection of socio-political events and private life

—— Juanita Coulson , Lady, *Books of the Year*

The Promise is just 300 pages long, but Galgut shows his skills as a concise and piercing novelist by packing so much into this exceptional book

—— Martin Chilton , Independent, *Books of the Year*

A layered, clever and sometimes uncomfortable read, but with a gripping story

—— Claire Fuller , Daily Mail, *Books of the Year*

A remarkably successful combination of formal discipline and finely observed characterisation, it was a worthy winner of the 2021 Booker prize

—— Alun David , Jewish Chronicle, *Books of the Year*

The judges of this year's Booker prize rightly crowned this outstanding multigenerational saga... The morally chewy scenario is given extra zest by an acrobatic narrative voice full of trickery

—— Anthony Cummins , Metro, *Books of the Year*

The Promise...is mesmerising

—— Helena Morrisey , Daily Mail, *Books of the Year*

A joyful masterclass in fiction... a dizzying adventure that underlines one of the most appealing things about fiction: it is the closest we can ever get to inhabiting other perspectives

—— Susie Mesure , i

Inventive and full of energy

—— The Times, *Summer Reads of 2022*

Gentle, precise, insightful, melancholy but warm

—— Shehan Karunatilaka, author of THE SEVEN MOONS OF MAALI ALMEIDA , Daily Mail
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