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I Blame The Scapegoats
I Blame The Scapegoats
Jan 15, 2026 6:35 PM

Author:John O'Farrell

I Blame The Scapegoats

A doctor in America has just invented a 'sperm sorting machine'. At least that's what he claimed when his receptionist burst into the office to find him doing something peculiar with the Hoover attachment. Apparently the system used for separating the male and female sperm is remarkably simple. A sample is placed in the petri dish with a microscopic pile of household items on a tiny staircase. All the sperm that go straight past without picking anything up are obviously boys.

John O'Farrell's first collection of columns GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT was a huge success prompting fulsome praise from such major public figures as the Queen Mother, Roy Jenkins and Cardinal Hume. Sadly, since their deaths, their glowing endorsements cannot be officially verified. So here instead is another collection of funny, satirical essays on a hundred and one 21st century subjects. Read how the government plans to introduce 'Santa loans' that will leave school children £10,000 in debt for all the presents that used to be free from Father Christmas. Learn how the EU is being expanded to include Narnia. And did you know that American war planes now have a little sticker on the back saying 'How's my bombing?' with an 0800 number to call if they blow up any Muslim country in a discourteous of aggressive manner . . .

Reviews

Acclaim for THIS IS YOUR LIFE:
'Excellently done...O'Farrell gives an extra squirm to the traditional English comedy of embarrassment'

—— Sunday Times

'A splendid satire on our celebrity-hungry age'

—— Daily Mail

'Very funny'

—— The Times

O'Farrell has scored a bullseye with this satirical salvo... Taps into Middle England's neuroses with terrific wit

—— The Herald

Elegant novel ... Franck's great strength is her ability to place her characters in unenviable situations yet retain the reader's sympathy

—— Gordon Darroch , Herald

There is a relentless sense of purpose about the complex, ever-shifting narrative that continually tests the reader

—— Eileen Battersby , Irish Times

Heart-rending

—— A. S. Byatt , Guardian

It is an admirable book and in its best passages is inspired and haunting

—— Jane Yager , Times Literary Supplement

Generations of women survive, most movingly, in the wreckage left by total war

—— Boyd Tonkin , Independent

Beautifully constructed... Franck has a remarkable ability to capture the nuances of human behaviour,and her subtle depiction of Helene's growing coldness, or "blindness", and the wider blindness of a society heading for disaster, is utterly compelling

—— Independent on Sunday

Read it and weep

—— http://lizzysiddal.wordpress.com

With its intriguing plot and strong characterisation, Julia Franck's novel depicts beautifully both personal and historical tragedies, and gives us a compelling portrait of a remarkable woman in difficult times

—— WBQ

A rich, affecting novel

—— David Evans , Independent on Sunday, Christmas round up

Kennedy is attuned to the shock of separation, as well as the pain ... Kennedy is adept at different types of stories

—— Leo Robson , Express

A virtuoso of prose

—— London Review of Books

A L Kennedy's short stories are rare pearls, all seductive surface and dark depths

—— Vogue

What admirable richness and complexity

—— Jane Shilling , Evening Standard

Kennedy has such control over her material that it never overwhelms the reader or becomes showily gothic

—— Matt Thorne , Sunday Telegraph

There's no denying that these utterly controlled stories have a power, humanity, and even beauty of their own

—— Amber Pearson , Daily Mail

While What Becomes is not always an easy book to read, Kennedy's linguistic inventiveness, wild humour and compassion make it an unexpectedly joyful one

—— The London Review of Books

Twelve stories from the manic mistress of comically vitriolic observation

—— Angel Gurria-Quintana , Financial Times

Savour this book

—— Erica Wagner , The Times, Christmas Books

Kennedy specialises in acute observations of thought... In this collection of short stories, she inhabits unhappy couples, lonely shopkeepers and strangers in hotel rooms to searing, painful and comic effect

—— Holly Kyte , Daily Telegraph

A virtuoso performance...This is a collection of stories that will be re-reading exceptionally well, like an album of brilliant songs you keep wanting to hear again

—— Brandom Robshaw , Independent on Sunday

Funny and furious, Kennedy's tales of floundering marriages and domestic disappointment follow an anarchic path of their own

—— Independent

Kennedy's superlative work always attracts admiration

—— Lesley McDowell , Herald
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