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How Should a Person Be?
How Should a Person Be?
Dec 3, 2025 12:53 AM

Author:Sheila Heti

How Should a Person Be?

'It made me want to write' Sally Rooney

'A seriously strange but funny plunge into the quest for authenticity' Margaret Atwood

'A classic in the making' Stylist

Sheila's twenties were going to plan.

She got married.

She hosted parties.

A theatre asked her to write a play.

Then she realised that she didn't know how to write a play.

That her favourite part of the party was cleaning up after the party.

And that her marriage made her feel like she was banging into a brick wall.

So Sheila abandons her marriage and her play, befriends Margaux, a free and untortured painter, and begins sleeping with the dominating Israel, who's a genius at sex but not at art. She throws herself into recording them and everyone around her, investigating how they live, desperate to know, as she wanders, How Should a Person Be?

Using transcripts, real emails, plus heavy doses of fiction, Heti crafts an exciting, courageous, and mordantly funny tour through one woman's heart and mind.

LONGLISTED FOR THE WOMEN'S PRIZE FOR FICTION

Reviews

Witty, unusual, raw...a powerful read...a classic in the making

—— Stylist

Original...hilarious... Part confessional, part play, part novel, and more-it's one wild ride...Think HBO'S Girls in book form

—— Marie Claire

Amazing

—— Lena Dunham

A shamelessly funny read

—— Grazia

Funny, bawdy and fiercely original

—— Easy Living

A sharp and unsentimental chronicle of what it is like to be a 20-something now

—— Economist

A book that risks everything... Complex, artfully messy, and hilarious

—— Miranda July

Uniquely honest, funny and clever... Heti is superbly truthful and shockingly funny - no words were minced in the making of this strange, brilliant book

—— Kate Saunders , The Times

Joyously self-conscious…profoundly ironic…or, perhaps more accurately, it is a production profoundly concerned with how to live authentically in a world saturated by irony

—— Olivia Laing , New Statesman

Utterly beguiling: blunt, charming, funny, and smart. Heti subtly weaves together ideas about sex, femininity and artistic ambition. Reading this genre-defying book was pure pleasure

—— David Shields, author of Reality Hunger

Engaging

—— Scarlett Thomas , Guardian

Genuinely laugh out loud

—— Daily Mail

Utterly now

—— Claire Allfree , Metro

Ambitious, assured and ruthlessly controlled…exhilarating

—— Richard Beck , Prospect

How Should a Person Be? is a question to be revisited by the author herself, or another writer, or many other writers – but it’s also the question novels were invented to respond to… Sheila makes it ugly to clear a space: for novels to be less fictional, for women to dream of being geniuses, for a way of being 'honest and transparent and give away nothing'

—— Joanna Briggs , London Review of Books

A timely, gloriously messy, openhearted, clever and beautiful new thing

—— Dazed & Confused

An unconventional blur of fact and fiction, How Should a Person Be? is an engaging cocktail of memoir, novel and self-help guide

—— Grazia

A candid collection of taped interviews and emails, random notes and daring exposition…fascinating

—— Sinead Gleeson , Irish Times

Provocative, funny and original

—— Hannah Rosefield , Literary Review

A serious work about authenticity, how to lead a moral life and accept one’s own ugliness

—— Richard Godwin , Evening Standard

An exuberantly productive mess, filtered and reorganised after the fact...rather than working within a familiar structure, Heti has gone out to look for things that interest her and "put a fence around" whatever she finds

—— Lidija Haas , Times Literary Supplement

A sharp, witty exploration of relationships, art and celebrity culture

—— Natasha Lehrer , Jewish Chronicle

[Sheila Heti] has an appealing restlessness, a curiosity about new forms, and an attractive freedom from pretentiousness or cant…How Should a Person Be? offers a vital and funny picture of the excitements and longueurs of trying to be a young creator in a free, late-capitalist Western City…This talented writer may well have identified a central dialectic of twenty-first-century postmodern being

—— James Wood, New Yorker

Funny…odd, original, and nearly unclassifiable…Sheila Heti does know something about how many of us, right now, experience the world, and she has gotten that knowledge down on paper, in a form unlike any other novel I can think of

—— New York Times

Playful, funny... absolutely true

—— The Paris Review

Sheila's clever, openhearted commentary will draw wry smiles from readers empathetic to modern life's trials and tribulations

—— Eve Commander , Big Issue in the North

Amusing and original

—— Mail on Sunday

Original, fresh, tender, funny and warm. The story dances and swirls, captivating the reader from the first page. Elizabeth Zott is the most wonderful character. Just fantastic

—— SINEAD MORIARTY

Strikingly relevant. . . Darkly funny and poignant. . . Lessons in Chemistry's excellent experiment is quirky and heartwarming

—— THE ATLANTIC

A funny, thought-provoking revenge story. Elizabeth Zott is ahead of her time. This is such a great book, everyone should read it!

—— SHAPARAK KHORSANDI

Garmus has made feminism not just palpable, but delicious

—— I-NEWS

A truly involving and uplifting book! Bonnie Garmus addresses serious topics with humour that is genuinely funny. I especially liked the dog. Mine only appears to know one word, which is 'supper', but there again she is a Labrador. I'm sure this is going to be a great success, and deserves to be

—— ANNE YOUNGSON, Costa Book Award-shortlisted author of MEET ME AT THE MUSEUM

This incredible novel has EVERYTHING - an unforgettable heroine, wry humour, love, family and bucketloads of optimism and female empowerment. It's WONDERFUL

—— HANNAH BECKERMAN

An energetic debut ... A more adorable plea for rationalism and gender equality would be hard to find

—— KIRKUS (starred review)

Bold, smart and often hilarious look at so-called women's work

—— REAL SIMPLE, US

Charming and emboldening tale with a vintage sheen... A thoroughly entertaining and emboldened look at gender in the 1960s. A must read!

—— MAGIC RADIO, BOOK CLUB READ

Garmus delivers an assured voice, an indelible heroine and relatable love stories

—— WASHINGTON POST

Elizabeth is a woman who challenges the norms of a woman in the 60s...her perseverance to succeed is enthralling. The fight to do what she really wants, and that alone, is one that'll have you rooting for her throughout

—— STYLIST

Indefatigable and formidable, Elizabeth pushes the bounds of how women and their work are perceived in this thoroughly engaging debut novel

—— BOOKLIST

A kicky debut, this book tackles feminism, resilience, and rationalism in a fun and refreshing way

—— BUZZFEED

Every bit as brilliant as everyone is saying. Funny, clever, full of heart and wonderful characters. I loved it

—— A J PEARCE

Unforgettable ... Elizabeth Zott is intelligent, fearless, determined and utterly inspiring

—— CULTUREFLY

An absolute delight. Zott is a cracking protagonist - strikingly single-minded, socially awkward, fiercely determined to forge her own path

—— FINANCIAL TIMES, Best Audio Books

Witty, fast-paced and unabashedly amusing' Lessons in Chemistry is 'written with charm, verve and piercing insight ... a future classic

—— LITERARY REVIEW

The best book I've read recently. I loved it

—— SARA COX, BBC 2 Between the Covers

I loved it. You don't want to finish it. You don't want to put it down. It's wonderful to hear a voice that has total honesty and clarity. I love that Elizabeth Zott is funny and hasn't got a clue that she's funny

—— DEBORAH MEADEN, BBC 2 BETWEEN THE COVERS

I loved everything about it. There were so many things I could relate to

—— STEPHEN BAILEY, BBC 2 BETWEEN THE COVERS

i couldn't put it down. It was so easy to read: hilarious, heartfelt. With all of the issues that we are still dealing with right now. Heartbreaking and heartwarming in equal measure

—— SUKH OJLA

Laugh-aloud funny, witty and provocative, LESSONS IN CHEMISTRY recreates the rampant sexism of America just before Betty Friedan's THE FEMININE MYSTIQUE and the bonfire of the bras

—— THE TIMES, audiobook of the week

A funny, big-hearted read

—— THE TIMES, Summer Reading Choice

I adored this confident, witty portrait of an unforgettable woman and her time

—— DAILY MAIL, Summer reading recommendations

One of the smartest and funniest novels to appear this year

—— THE NEW EUROPEAN

We guarantee you will love this charming debut

—— HELLO MAGAZINE

This smart, uproarious, emotional page-turner...has been the year's runaway hit. Rightly so

—— SUNDAY TIMES, Books of the Year

Irresistible, a gorgeous tribute to resilience and the many types of love that sustain us

—— OPRAH DAILY

Sharp and deliciously readable. Brings bite as well as charm to the tale of a super-rational scientist navigating sexism in early 60s America.

—— GUARDIAN, Books of the Year

The idiosyncratic wit of this year's blockbuster debut is instantly appealing, but it's also a narrative with real bite. Uplifting and irresistibly zany

—— THE MAIL, Books of the Year

I fell for Elizabeth Zott immediately. A wonderfully entertaining and empowering read

—— GOOD HOUSEKEEPING, Books of the Year

A wonderful novel - polished, pacy, funny, witty, warm, life-affirming, and thought-provoking

—— SUNDAY MAIL, SCOTLAND

Witty and sometimes hilarious. The CATCH-22 of early feminism

—— STEPHEN KING

Enchanting, clever, funny and packed with deeply engaging characters. I still think about it a lot

—— INDIA KNIGHT's Book of the Year, SUNDAY TIMES

As with all the best stories, there is a timelessness to this book. One senses it will be read in ten or twenty years' time

—— IRISH TIMES

Biting and cheering in exactly the right measure

—— JOJO MOYES

The TV cook bit hooked me right in and it did not disappoint. This book is Charming, witty and clever

—— NADIYA HUSSAIN
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