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Getting Nowhere Fast : Series 1-3
Getting Nowhere Fast : Series 1-3
Jul 11, 2025 7:32 PM

Author:Mervyn Stutter,Mervyn Stutter,Lill Roughley,Martin Freeman,Tracy-Ann Oberman,John Challis,Christopher Etteridge,Michael Mears,Gyuri Sarossy,Geoffrey Given,Full Cast

Getting Nowhere Fast : Series 1-3

Former lovers Pam and Merv open a cyber section in their Vodka and Veggie Café in this BBC comedy series

When Merv and Pam got divorced, that should have been the end of their relationship. But here they are, trying to turn a veggie-and-vodka bistro in a cyber cafe, while Merv is still living in Pam's front garden in a small caravan.

Merv's dreams of being a rock star failed a long time ago, so the Cyber Pass is now his only hope - although his customers mainly consist of a washed-up actor eager for a free drink and the local community policeman; plus their staff of Nev, the twenty-something teen who runs the cafe's IT and still lives with his parents, and Chantal, the South African waitress obsessed with plastic surgery and lifestyle consultants. Throw in some midlife-crisis communes, a biological clock, Pam's ever-absent new husband, and a dead chicken, and who could say Merv isn't still living the dream?

With John Challis, Mervyn Stutter, Lill Roughley, Tracy-Ann Oberman and Martin Freeman, this series is from the same acclaimed writer as Love 40 - New Balls Please and Waterloo Sunset and perfect for fans of Clare in the Community and Fags, Mags and Bags.

Cast

Merv - Mervyn Stutter

Pam- Lill Roughley

Dibden- John Challis

PC Dilkes (Series 1) - Christopher Etteridge

PC Dilkes (Series 2) - Michael Mears

Chantal - Tracy-Ann Oberman

Nev (Series 1) - Martin Freeman

Nev (Series 2&3) - Gyuri Sarossy

Geoffrey McGivern - various

First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 on the following dates:

23 November - 14 December 2001 (Series 1)

19 March - 18 April 2003 (Series 2)

14 May - 18 June 2004 (Series 3)

Production credits

Written by Mervyn Stutter

Music by Mervyn Stutter

Performed by Swamp Things

Produced by Mario Stylianides (Series 1&2) and Simon Nicholls (Series 3)

©2022 BBC Studios Distribution Ltd (P)2022 BBC Studios Distribution Ltd

"Written by the extremely funny Mervyn Stutter, this comedy series has a laugh every other line. Expect to see this on TV soon!" - Jane Anderson, Radio Times

"This is the comic voice of the Baby Boom."- The Telegraph

"It's a scream! Terribly funny and really well written. I haven't heard a sitcom like that and as funny on Radio 4 for a long long long time." - Dillie Keane

Reviews

Anna Kavan's Ice is a book like the moon is the moon. There's only one. It's cold and white, and it stares back, both defiant and impassive, static and frantically on the move, marked by phases, out of reach. It may even seem to be following you.

—— Jonathan Lethem , New York Times

Brutal, addictive and extremely entertaining

—— Guardian

Cracking dialogue, compelling illogic and unchained whimsy... Pratchett has a subject and a style that is very much his own

—— The Sunday Times

He is screamingly funny. He is wise. He has style

—— Sunday Telegraph

The saddest, sweetest book ever ... It is heartbreakingly sad, but also beautiful and uplifting in the end

—— LaSalle News Tribune

'Classic English humour, with all the slapstick, twists and dry observations you could hope for'

—— The Times

Startlingly original

—— Guardian on BRAISED PORK

Intensely atmospheric

—— LA Review of Books on BRAISED PORK

Otherwordly and deeply moving

—— BuzzFeed on BRAISED PORK

Real magic

—— LitHub on BRAISED PORK

Shimmering

—— Wall Street Journal on BRAISED PORK

Rich and wild

—— Observer on BRAISED PORK

Enchanting

—— Shelf Awareness on BRAISED PORK

Electric

—— TIME on BRAISED PORK

This taut, explosive novel is all the more terrifying because it edges so close to reality. Frida's predicament embodies the fraught question so many women are taught to ask: Am I good enough?

—— Leni Zumas, author of RED CLOCKS

This book is like nothing I've read before. Haunting and unforgettable, and I'm in awe of Jessamine Chan's mind.

—— Liz Moore, author of LONG BRIGHT RIVER and HEFT

Heartbreaking and daring, propulsive and wise. I read it with my heart in my throat and I held my kids tight.

—— Diane Cook, author of the Booker Prize finalist THE NEW WILDERNESS

Jessamine Chan captures, in heartbreaking tones, the exacting price women pay in a patriarchal society that despises them, that reduces their worth to their viability for procreation and capacity for mothering. The School for Good Mothers is not so much a warning for some possible dystopian nightmare as much as it is an alarm announcing that the nightmare is here. The book is, thus, a weeping testimony, a haunting song, and a piercing rebuke of both the misogynist social order and the traps it lays for women, girls, and femmes. Good Mothers deserves an honored place next to the works of Margaret Atwood and Octavia Butler.

—— Robert Jones, Jr., author of THE PROPHETS and creator of Son of Baldwin

Gutting and terrifying. Vivid and exquisite. In The School for Good Mothers, you'll find not only your favourite novel of the year, but also a new cultural touchstone, a reference point for the everyday horrors all parents experience and take for granted. This book is sharp, shocking, anxiety-provoking, superb. It is exactly what you want, and need, to read

—— Julia Phillips

(An) intense, unputdownable debut that will doubtless spark conversation about what makes a good or bad mother

—— Oprah Daily

Picks up the mantel of writers like Margaret Atwood and Kazuo Ishiguro . . . but it also stands on its own as a remarkable, propulsive novel. At a moment when state control over women's bodies (and autonomy) seems ever more chilling, the book feels horrifyingly unbelievable and eerily prescient all at once

—— Vogue, The Best Books of 2022

[An] enthralling speculative debut . . . A powerful story, made more so by its empathetic and complicated heroine

—— Kirkus Starred Review

Enthralling....a powerful story, made more so by its empathetic and complicated heroine

—— Publishers Weekly

A gripping, witty and ultimately redemptive vision of dystopian motherhood

—— Leah Hazard, author of HARD PUSHED

This scarily prescient novel that's reminiscent of Orwell and Vonnegut explores the depths of parents' love, how strictly we judge mothers and each other and the terrifying potential of government overreach

—— Good Housekeeping (US)

(An) infuriatingly timely debut novel... that may read more like a preview than a dystopia, depending on your faith in the future of Roe v. Wade

—— New York Times

No book has ever made me cry this much. The School for Good Mothers is an absolute masterpiece

—— Rosie Walker, author of Secrets of a Serial Killer

A powerful story

—— SFX

Chan's high-concept novel may toy with dystopia but it remains chillingly plausible, a portrait of our fanatical culture of judgement against women, and mothers in particular, taken to a grotesquely logical extreme

—— Metro

A nail-biting explosive story exploring the pressures of 'perfect' parenting

—— Woman's Own Magazine

The writing is at times hilarious and scalpel sharp

—— Independent (Ireland)

Part science fiction, part incarceration narrative and part Cultural Revolution memoir, it is as gripping as it is terrifying - and for mothers struggling to 'do the right thing', all too believable

—— Spiked Online

Propulsive and provocative

—— Daily Express

The School For Good Mothers is a perceptive, prescient and daring debut that presents a dystopia that doesn't feel as far away as we'd like it to

—— Culturefly

An unforgettable an haunting story about the thoughts, opinions and choices you make

—— Woman's Weekly

Reminiscent of The Handmaid's Tale, this eerie page-turner is a captivating depiction of a dystopian world that feels entirely possible. It's not only the gripping story of Frida's personal struggle, but also a thought-provoking work of commentary on American motherhood

—— TIME

I was fascinated and intrigued by this feminist dystopian novel

—— Daily Mail

So brilliant and haunting and ahead of its time... the only book that has ever stopped me from sleeping

—— Jessie Cave

Dark and dreamy; a captivating love story

—— Stylist

Lushly imagined, extremely charming and very, very readable

—— Stuart Kelly , Scotland on Sunday

One of the most beautiful novels of the year

—— Observer

Lush, evocative, dreamlike... a magical, coming-of-age story

—— Sunday Times

Pure pleasure... Erin Morgenstern is a gifted, classic storyteller, a tale-teller, a spinner of the charmed and mesmerizing - I had many other things I was supposed to be doing, but the book kept drawing me back in and I tore through it. You can be certain this riveting debut will create a group of rêveurs all its own.

—— Aimee Bender, author of The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake

The narrative is deft and satisfying, and the author's talent is intriguing

—— Jonathan Barnes , Times Literary Supplement

This week's hot read... I loved this book and didn't want it to end... Totally absorbing and beautifully descriptive, it created a whole world I couldn't help but get lost it, especially the slow-burning love story between the two main characters, who are both sorcerers

—— Deborah Hughes , Woman Magazine

The Night Circus made me happy. Playful and intensely imaginative, Erin Morgenstern has created the circus I have always longed for and she has populated it with dueling love-struck magicians, precocious kittens, hyper-elegant displays of beauty and complicated clocks. This is a marvelous book

—— Audrey Niffenegger

I'm not often lost for words, but I'm struggling to find the words to describe just how good this book is and how it made me feel, so I'll just say this: if you are only able to read one book for the rest of your life, make sure it is The Night Circus. You won't regret it

—— BookBag

A phantasmagorical world inhabited by compelling characters. Grown-up fans of Harry Potter, take note

—— Sunday Business Post

Morgenstern paints precise, evocative and visually lush scenes within the tents of her fictional circus… a genuine pleasure to read. Like any successful illusion, it could be carefully unraveled but surely it should simply be enjoyed

—— Claire Messud , Guardian

For all its whimsy, the author’s lush, evocative, dreamlike prose is not as sugar-coated as it sounds. Her writing is delectable, addictive stuff, and this is an accomplished, refreshingly unusual debut

—— Alison Flood , Sunday Times

Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents, Le Cirque des Reves is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazement

—— Female First

A phantasmagorical fairytale for grown-ups

—— Image

Absolutely spellbinding! A wonderful mix of history and magic that will keep you captivated. We love this magical debut!

—— Living North

Enough here to satisfy fans of JK Rowling or even Suzanna Clarke

—— Val Nolan , Irish Examiner

For ultimate holiday escapism delve into Morgenstern’s tale… Expect some unfamiliar acts and a good old love story in there too

—— AtHomeMagazine

Enchanting and whimsical historical fantasy, this is a delight for the imagination with its breathtaking imagery, intriguing plot, and beautiful writing

—— Foyles, Books of the Year
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