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A Year In The Merde
A Year In The Merde
Jul 7, 2025 6:31 PM

Author:Stephen Clarke,Justin Edwards

A Year In The Merde

What are the French really like?

Paul West, a young Englishman arriving in Paris to start a new job, is about to find out.

_________________

They do eat a lot of cheese, some of which smells like pigs’ droppings.

They don’t wash their armpits with garlic soap.

Going on strike really is the second national participation sport after petanque.

And, yes, they do use suppositories.

Less quaint than A Year in Provence, less chocolatey than Chocolat, A Year in the Merde will tell you how to get served by the grumpiest Parisian waiter; how to make perfect vinaigrette every time; how to make amour - not war; and how not to buy a house in the French countryside.

Reviews

Edgier than Bryson, hits harder than Mayle

—— The Times

Must have comedy-of-errors diary about being a Brit abroad

—— Daily Mirror

This is the season's word-of-mouth must-have book for Francophiles and Francophobes alike... This comedy of errors has almost certainly done more for the Entente Cordiale than any of our politicians

—— Daily Mail

Wide Sargasso Sea is not just a great novel, it is many brilliant books in one

—— Independent

This charming novel is perfect for anyone who feels they aren’t living the life they could be. Plus, once you’re finished, you can gaze lovingly at the cover, which is basically the motivational poster your desk needs.

—— HelloGiggles

A delightful read. Irresistible!

—— Biba Magazine

A one-sitting read, because we all resemble Camille to some degree, and we'd all love to do what she does. So what if we gave it a go...?

—— Femme Actuelle

A publishing phenomenon

—— Figaro

Like the movement of the dancers it describes, it feels always, captivatingly, 'meant'

—— Stephanie Cross , Times Literary Supplement

Evans...writes with eye-catching fluidity, gracefully pirouetting between Notting Hill in the 1990s, and the Caribbean a decade earlier

—— Trevor Lewis , The Sunday Times

Evans communicates the joy that comes out of, and the hard work that goes into, dance. She also has a keen eye and a neat way of communicating what she sees.

—— The Sunday Herald

[A] multi-layered, ambitious novel… [with] an immersive, intricate narrative… Elegant, inventive and thought-provoking

—— Simon Humphreys , Mail on Sunday

Mark Haddon has written a terrifically exciting novel called The Porpoise … so riveting that I found myself constantly pining to fall back into its labyrinth of swashbuckling adventure and feminist resistance

—— Ron Charles , The Washington Post

The Porpoise is lovely, sad, ambitious and admirable... Every age retells, refocuses and interprets the classics. In The Porpoise Mark Haddon has done so in a way that makes us look afresh not only at the story of Pericles but also at storytelling itself

—— Simon Baker , Literary Review

An enthralling novel that will sweep you up from the off

—— Isabelle Broom , Woman & Home

Seriously good... a beautiful read you won't forget

—— Clara Strunk , Evening Standard *Summer Reads*

Haddon’s glittering tapestry of a novel skilfully redeploys the structures of Pericles’ source material… In The Porpoise, Haddon gives voice to a character who, in Shakespeare, receives no more than a passing mention, and in doing so, shows the transcendent power of stories to heal and restore

—— Philip Womack , Independent

Staggeringly ambitious, innovative, beautifully written... The Porpoise has the pace of a really good thriller, but combined with a subtlety and depth that few thrillers possess

—— Pat Barker

A full-throttle blast of storytelling mastery. I read it on the plane in a single sitting at 30,000 feet and enjoyed every second. Gorgeously written and very clever, but also such fun! Ancient and modern overlap and tangle in exhilarating ways, it’s like romping through a Literary Netflix: an episode of something historical and bloody, then something slick and contemporary, then something really weird and unnerving. So many pleasures in one book. The Porpoise is a joy to read

—— Max Porter

There is storytelling of such primacy in Mark Haddon’s The Porpoise, that when I turned the last page, I was left completely elated. A gorgeous, enlivening experience. It is also one that insistently asks: how? How did all this add up to something so sublime? How, with all its subtle slips, and stunningly weird passages, could this strange, beautiful book feel so finely composed? It is disarmingly wild. And the story itself, in which the myth of Appolonius, remixed as Pericles by Shakespeare and George Wilkins, is again turned inside out, thrown backward and forward, and hurled against oceans (in an act of imaginative heroism by the author), invites us to understand something Haddon always has, which is that even stories as old as this one can remain relevant to our current moment. Especially if they are told with this much originality and conviction

—— Guy Gunaratne , Goldsmiths Prize

Mark Haddon cuts right down to the grittiness of humanity every time he writes. The Porpoise is a beautiful, unputdownable, ancient tangle with its own sweeping tides and dangerous depths

—— Daisy Johnson

It's hard to describe just how much tremendous joy and pleasure there is on every page

—— Charlotte Higgins

Haddon deftly adapts this ancient myth for the 21st century to illuminate a timeless, ugly truth about how the violent appetites of men strip women of their agency

—— Esquire

Beguiling yet unsettling

—— Eithne Farry , Daily Mail

A fantastical narrative that involves rampaging pirates, ghost women and princesses...Bold

—— Andrea Martin , Heat

This gripping and evocative novel questions the nature of the stories we tell ourselves and others

—— UK Press Syndication

A rollicking fantastical narrative

—— i

A wild adventure...full of splendid incident... There is much to enjoy in this novel -- the liveliness of Haddon's imagination and the virtuosity of his style

—— Allan Massie , The Scotsman

[The Porpoise] achieve[s] the truly Shakespearean feat of simultaneously conveying disgust at the darkest aspects of human behaviour and relishing them, making the reader feel horribly – and deliciously – complicit

—— Jake Kerridge , Sunday Express

Stamped with the same bold and original imagination… Haddon’s mash-up of myth and history may have a fantastical feel, but once the reader has adjusted to his exuberant originality they will find prose on every page that is pure joy

—— Jane Thynne , Tablet, *Novel of the Week*

Haddon writes with wrenching beauty about how the world inflicts itself on the disadvantaged... It's a testament to Haddon's prodigious gifts as a storyteller that this strange, epic adventure is so compulsively readable

—— Nicholas Mancusi , Time Magazine

A strange, tangled web of a story, drawing on ancient mythology and expanding into time travel… this innovative novel offers escapes into multiple worlds

—— Culture Whisper

Irresistible storytelling that slides between the present day and a mythic realm… A heady delight

—— Guardian, *Summer Reads of 2019*

The novel draws on Shakespeare and Greek legend, and is the sort of mile-a-minute adventure you can get lost in for hours without realising

—— ShortList, *Summer Reads of 2019*

[The Porpoise] confirms the sense of a gifted writer letting his talent off the leash at last… Mind-bending yet marvellously readable, it stakes Haddon’s claim to be one of the best writers in Britain right now

—— Daily Mail, *Summer reads of 2019*

Haddon conveys all this with startling granularity: the stinking, seething Jacobean London traversed by the ghosts of Wilkins and Shakespeare… Haddon's novel creates, throughout, a looming sense that something very bad but not quite perceptible is in the process of unfolding: a terrible half-glimpsed fate that the characters are powerless to resist

—— Adam Smyth , London Review of Books

The Porpoise begins as a page-turning thriller and soon shifts into something slippery and strange – but remains propulsive throughout

—— New Statesman

Mark Haddon’s best novel yet. The Porpoise begins as a propulsive thriller…and segues into a classical-world adventure that reinvents the story of Pericles in prose of a hallucinatory vividness

—— Justine Jordan , Guardian, *Books of the Year*

The Porpoise reworks legend with the compelling force of a thriller

—— Lindsey Hilsum , Observer, *Books of the Year*

[An] exquisite retelling of Shakespeare’s Pericles

—— Claire Allfree , Daily Mail, *Books of the Year*

Thrilling, dramatic and exquisitely written, The Porpoise combines myth and reality to enthralling effect

—— Jane Shilling , Daily Mail
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