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A Dog Called Demolition
A Dog Called Demolition
Jul 31, 2025 3:37 PM

Author:Robert Rankin

A Dog Called Demolition

DANNY: PORTRAIT OF A SURREAL KILLER

Danny's not sad and lonely any more because Danny's got 'the voices'. Well, one voice. It's the voice of his dog. Not that it's a real dog, Danny's mother would never let him have a real dog, so Danny made up one for himself. And a fine big dog it is too, with a waggy tail and a nice cold nose. Danny was going to call it Princey, but the dog told him its name was Demolition. So that's what Danny calls it.

And the dog's told him other things too. Like how to adjust the bar-code reader in the shop where Danny works so that he can read the lines on people's palms and Danny can see what they're thinking. And which small ads in the comic books to send off to, so Danny can become irresistible to women, bend others to his will, gain vital inches and fear no man living.

No, Danny's not sad and lonely any more. Danny's barking mad.

Robert Rankin has been described variously as 'Funnier than Aleister Crowley, more dangerous than P.G. Wodehouse' (Cardinal Cox, EP Magazine), 'The drinking man's H.G. Wells' (Midweek) and 'An irregular genius' (David Profumo, The Daily Telegraph). His 13th novel is a nightmare journey to hell and back (with only a brief stop at a Happy Eater to use the toilet). Where Natural Born Killers and Silence of the Lambs merely dipped their toes in terror's icy water, Rankin boldly takes his lurex sock off and really puts his foot in it.

Reviews

'He becomes funnier the more you read him'

—— Independent

Sharp-nibbed…the take-home lessons in integrity and self-knowledge are winningly delivered

—— Daily Mail

I took so much pleasure in every sentence of THE CLASP, fell so completely under the spell of its narrative tone--equal parts bite and tenderness, a dash of rue--and became so caught up in the charmingly dented protagonists and their off-kilter caper, that the book's emotional power, building steadily and quietly, caught me off-guard, and left me with a lump in my throat.

—— Michael Chabon

A touching but never sentimental portrait of a trio of quasi-adults turning into adult adults, this is one of those rare deeply literary books that also features -- a plot! From the shores of Florida to the coast of Normandy, wonderful, unforgettable things happen in this enormously hilarious novel. And they are written in a language so beautiful, I gnashed my teeth at Sloane Crosley's talent.

—— Gary Shteyngart

Sloane Crosley's debut novel is hilarious, insightful, and full of characters and situations that only Sloane Crosley could devise. The laugh-out-loud observations and dialogue that make her essays such a delight to read shine through in her fiction too. The Clasp is a gem.

—— J. Courtney Sullivan

I opened THE CLASP and immediately realized that I'd been waiting far too long for Sloane Crosley to write a novel. Crosley is a literary addiction. There is no substitute. She is curious. She is smart. She is hilarious and edgy and generous and impossible to stop reading. Moreover, she misses nothing. Her attention to the seemingly smallest details—material, social, psychological—reveal, as the pages turn, an intricately tooled world that is as familiar as it is dazzling and new.

—— Heidi Julavits

Part comedy of manners, part adventure story, this is an inspired first novel…a blast from start to finish

—— Tatler

It’s laugh-out-loud funny, heart-in-your-throat melancholy and manages to be a Parisian-set caper as well. Joy.

—— The Debrief

A sharp, witty coming of age tale – if you work on the principle that of age is now more likely to be 30 than 21

—— The Pool

A huge hilarious pleasure from start to finish

—— Woman and Home

Elegant storytelling

—— i Paper

Perfect beach read, smart, funny and heartfelt.

—— Ion Magazine

An entertaining homage to Maupassant…There is barely a page of the novel that doesn’t glitter with some nugget of wit or wisdom

—— Guardian

Crosley’s debut novel showcases much of the same razor-sharp wit as her New York Times bestselling essay collections … she nails it

—— The Independent

A smart, witty read with a lot of heart

—— Red

Brilliant writing and astutely drawn characters … I couldn’t put it down

—— Grazia

[Crosley’s] prose is the literary equivalent of a light-as-air soufflé, made from recipes by Candace Bushnell and a young Donna Tartt … consistently witty … a real comic talent

—— Independent on Sunday

Sharp and funny

—— Good Housekeeping

A thing of pure joy…The Clasp is an absolute delight

—— Stylist

Highly comic, highly affecting novel

—— The New York Times

Seriously impressive…as smart as it is funny

—— Glamour

A novel with more verve and imagination than much of the plot-light fare that typically gets the high-literary treatment, a story that shares at least some DNA with ambitious capers like Donna Tartt’s The Goldfinch and Marisha Pessl’s Special Topics in Calamity Physics.

—— Vogue US

The Gap of Time takes nothing away from The Winter's Tale. If anything it might add to it, or at least to its resonance and mystery. It is an impressive achievement, especially as Winterson manages the contradictions of comedy and tragedy in a way which suits both their modern likelihood and their moral implications

—— Mary Leland , Irish Examiner

A witty retelling.

—— Joanna Kavenna , Literary Review

Her new story retains the essence of Shakespeare, but filters his comedy and sentiment through feminism and technology.

—— The Culture Trip

Filled with her wit and seriously thought-provoking ideas, Winterson’s writing is a pleasure… This is a well told, beautiful, magical and wonderfully evocative story which resonates with our contemporary lives.

—— Eric Page , Gscene

The Gap of Time is an ingenious retelling of The Winter’s Tale… [Winterston] Made it new with her own bold and poetic prose and her insights into love and grief. There are passages here so concisely beautiful they give you goosebumps… Perhaps most surprising is how readily the plot translates to a modern context; how plausible this version seems, for all its knowing self-reference.

—— Stephanie Merritt , Guardian

Those addicted to Shakespeare’s marvellous depiction of jealousy, guilt and teenage joie de vivre will be identifying and falling in love again with characters and their fateful lives… Plunge into The Gap of Time as a fresh, vibrant example of contemporary writing with an original, thought-provoking storyline… The Gap of Time is a top-quality novel.

—— Phillip Fisher , British Theatre Guide

Stylish and accomplished.

—— Peter Carty , International Business Times

The Winter’s Tale meets House of Cards. Engrossing and ingenious, it deftly rewrites Shakespeare’s lamentation of destructive jealousy as an indictment of deregulated capitalism.

—— Peter Smith , Times Higher Education

Winterson charms with her playful translation of the cast from the courts of Sicily and Bohemia into our own quotidian life

—— Patricia Storace , The New York Review of Books

She deftly captures all the magic and raw emotion of the original.

—— Irish Times
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