Book Six: 1808-10 - Chapter XXIV

by Leo Tolstoy

　　No betrothal ceremony took place and Natasha's engagement toBolkonski was not announced; Prince Andrew insisted on that. He saidthat as he was responsible for the delay he ought to bear the wholeburden of it; that he had given his word and bound himself forever,but that he did not wish to bind Natasha and gave her perfect freedom.If after six months she felt that she did not love him she wouldhave full right to reject him. Naturally neither Natasha nor herparents wished to hear of this, but Prince Andrew was firm. He cameevery day to the Rostovs', but did not behave to Natasha as anaffianced lover: he did not use the familiar thou, but said you toher, and kissed only her hand. After their engagement, quitedifferent, intimate, and natural relations sprang up between them.It was as if they had not known each other till now. Both liked torecall how they had regarded each other when as yet they werenothing to one another; they felt themselves now quite differentbeings: then they were artificial, now natural and sincere. At firstthe family felt some constraint in intercourse with Prince Andrew;he seemed a man from another world, and for a long time Natashatrained the family to get used to him, proudly assuring them allthat he only appeared to be different, but was really just like all ofthem, and that she was not afraid of him and no one else ought tobe. After a few days they grew accustomed to him, and withoutrestraint in his presence pursued their usual way of life, in which hetook his part. He could talk about rural economy with the count,fashions with the countess and Natasha, and about albums and fancyworkwith Sonya. Sometimes the household both among themselves and in hispresence expressed their wonder at how it had all happened, and at theevident omens there had been of it: Prince Andrew's coming to Otradnoeand their coming to Petersburg, and the likeness between Natasha andPrince Andrew which her nurse had noticed on his first visit, andAndrew's encounter with Nicholas in 1805, and many other incidentsbetokening that it had to be.

　　In the house that poetic dullness and quiet reigned which alwaysaccompanies the presence of a betrothed couple. Often when all sittingtogether everyone kept silent. Sometimes the others would get up andgo away and the couple, left alone, still remained silent. They rarelyspoke of their future life. Prince Andrew was afraid and ashamed tospeak of it. Natasha shared this as she did all his feelings, whichshe constantly divined. Once she began questioning him about hisson. Prince Andrew blushed, as he often did now- Natashaparticularly liked it in him- and said that his son would not livewith them.

　　"Why not?" asked Natasha in a frightened tone.

　　"I cannot take him away from his grandfather, and besides..."

　　"How I should have loved him!" said Natasha, immediately guessinghis thought; "but I know you wish to avoid any pretext for findingfault with us."

　　Sometimes the old count would come up, kiss Prince Andrew, and askhis advice about Petya's education or Nicholas' service. The oldcountess sighed as she looked at them; Sonya was always gettingfrightened lest she should be in the way and tried to find excuses forleaving them alone, even when they did not wish it. When Prince Andrewspoke (he could tell a story very well), Natasha listened to himwith pride; when she spoke she noticed with fear and joy that he gazedattentively and scrutinizingly at her. She asked herself inperplexity: "What does he look for in me? He is trying to discoversomething by looking at me! What if what he seeks in me is not there?"Sometimes she fell into one of the mad, merry moods characteristicof her, and then she particularly loved to hear and see how PrinceAndrew laughed. He seldom laughed, but when he did he abandonedhimself entirely to his laughter, and after such a laugh she alwaysfelt nearer to him. Natasha would have been completely happy if thethought of the separation awaiting her and drawing near had notterrified her, just as the mere thought of it made him turn pale andcold.

　　On the eve of his departure from Petersburg Prince Andrew broughtwith him Pierre, who had not been to the Rostovs' once since the ball.Pierre seemed disconcerted and embarrassed. He was talking to thecountess, and Natasha sat down beside a little chess table with Sonya,thereby inviting Prince Andrew to come too. He did so.

　　"You have known Bezukhov a long time?" he asked. "Do you like him?"

　　"Yes, he's a dear, but very absurd."

　　And as usual when speaking of Pierre, she began to tell anecdotes ofhis absent-mindedness, some of which had even been invented about him.

　　"Do you know I have entrusted him with our secret? I have knownhim from childhood. He has a heart of gold. I beg you, Natalie,"Prince Andrew said with sudden seriousness- "I am going away andheaven knows what may happen. You may cease to... all right, I knowI am not to say that. Only this, then: whatever may happen to you whenI am not here..."

　　"What can happen?"

　　"Whatever trouble may come," Prince Andrew continued, "I beg you,Mademoiselle Sophie, whatever may happen, to turn to him alone foradvice and help! He is a most absent-minded and absurd fellow, buthe has a heart of gold."

　　Neither her father, nor her mother, nor Sonya, nor Prince Andrewhimself could have foreseen how the separation from her lover wouldact on Natasha. Flushed and agitated she went about the house all thatday, dry-eyed, occupied with most trivial matters as if notunderstanding what awaited her. She did not even cry when, on takingleave, he kissed her hand for the last time. "Don't go!" she said in atone that made him wonder whether he really ought not to stay andwhich he remembered long afterwards. Nor did she cry when he was gone;but for several days she sat in her room dry-eyed, taking nointerest in anything and only saying now and then, "Oh, why did hego away?"

　　But a fortnight after his departure, to the surprise of those aroundher, she recovered from her mental sickness just as suddenly andbecame her old self again, but with a change in her moral physiognomy,as a child gets up after a long illness with a changed expression offace.