Chapter XXII

by William Somerset Maugham

　　Philip's uncle had an old friend, called Miss Wilkinson, who lived inBerlin. She was the daughter of a clergyman, and it was with her father,the rector of a village in Lincolnshire, that Mr. Carey had spent his lastcuracy; on his death, forced to earn her living, she had taken varioussituations as a governess in France and Germany. She had kept up acorrespondence with Mrs. Carey, and two or three times had spent herholidays at Blackstable Vicarage, paying as was usual with the Careys'unfrequent guests a small sum for her keep. When it became clear that itwas less trouble to yield to Philip's wishes than to resist them, Mrs.Carey wrote to ask her for advice. Miss Wilkinson recommended Heidelbergas an excellent place to learn German in and the house of Frau ProfessorErlin as a comfortable home. Philip might live there for thirty marks aweek, and the Professor himself, a teacher at the local high school, wouldinstruct him.Philip arrived in Heidelberg one morning in May. His things were put on abarrow and he followed the porter out of the station. The sky was brightblue, and the trees in the avenue through which they passed were thickwith leaves; there was something in the air fresh to Philip, and mingledwith the timidity he felt at entering on a new life, among strangers, wasa great exhilaration. He was a little disconsolate that no one had come tomeet him, and felt very shy when the porter left him at the front door ofa big white house. An untidy lad let him in and took him into adrawing-room. It was filled with a large suite covered in green velvet,and in the middle was a round table. On this in water stood a bouquet offlowers tightly packed together in a paper frill like the bone of a muttonchop, and carefully spaced round it were books in leather bindings. Therewas a musty smell.Presently, with an odour of cooking, the Frau Professor came in, a short,very stout woman with tightly dressed hair and a red face; she had littleeyes, sparkling like beads, and an effusive manner. She took both Philip'shands and asked him about Miss Wilkinson, who had twice spent a few weekswith her. She spoke in German and in broken English. Philip could not makeher understand that he did not know Miss Wilkinson. Then her two daughtersappeared. They seemed hardly young to Philip, but perhaps they were notmore than twenty-five: the elder, Thekla, was as short as her mother, withthe same, rather shifty air, but with a pretty face and abundant darkhair; Anna, her younger sister, was tall and plain, but since she had apleasant smile Philip immediately preferred her. After a few minutes ofpolite conversation the Frau Professor took Philip to his room and lefthim. It was in a turret, looking over the tops of the trees in the Anlage;and the bed was in an alcove, so that when you sat at the desk it had notthe look of a bed-room at all. Philip unpacked his things and set out allhis books. He was his own master at last.A bell summoned him to dinner at one o'clock, and he found the FrauProfessor's guests assembled in the drawing-room. He was introduced to herhusband, a tall man of middle age with a large fair head, turning now togray, and mild blue eyes. He spoke to Philip in correct, rather archaicEnglish, having learned it from a study of the English classics, not fromconversation; and it was odd to hear him use words colloquially whichPhilip had only met in the plays of Shakespeare. Frau Professor Erlincalled her establishment a family and not a pension; but it would haverequired the subtlety of a metaphysician to find out exactly where thedifference lay. When they sat down to dinner in a long dark apartment thatled out of the drawing-room, Philip, feeling very shy, saw that there weresixteen people. The Frau Professor sat at one end and carved. The servicewas conducted, with a great clattering of plates, by the same clumsy loutwho had opened the door for him; and though he was quick it happened thatthe first persons to be served had finished before the last had receivedtheir appointed portions. The Frau Professor insisted that nothing butGerman should be spoken, so that Philip, even if his bashfulness hadpermitted him to be talkative, was forced to hold his tongue. He looked atthe people among whom he was to live. By the Frau Professor sat severalold ladies, but Philip did not give them much of his attention. There weretwo young girls, both fair and one of them very pretty, whom Philip heardaddressed as Fraulein Hedwig and Fraulein Cacilie. Fraulein Cacilie had along pig-tail hanging down her back. They sat side by side and chatteredto one another, with smothered laughter: now and then they glanced atPhilip and one of them said something in an undertone; they both giggled,and Philip blushed awkwardly, feeling that they were making fun of him.Near them sat a Chinaman, with a yellow face and an expansive smile, whowas studying Western conditions at the University. He spoke so quickly,with a queer accent, that the girls could not always understand him, andthen they burst out laughing. He laughed too, good-humouredly, and hisalmond eyes almost closed as he did so. There were two or three Americanmen, in black coats, rather yellow and dry of skin: they were theologicalstudents; Philip heard the twang of their New England accent through theirbad German, and he glanced at them with suspicion; for he had been taughtto look upon Americans as wild and desperate barbarians.Afterwards, when they had sat for a little on the stiff green velvetchairs of the drawing-room, Fraulein Anna asked Philip if he would like togo for a walk with them.Philip accepted the invitation. They were quite a party. There were thetwo daughters of the Frau Professor, the two other girls, one of theAmerican students, and Philip. Philip walked by the side of Anna andFraulein Hedwig. He was a little fluttered. He had never known any girls.At Blackstable there were only the farmers' daughters and the girls of thelocal tradesmen. He knew them by name and by sight, but he was timid, andhe thought they laughed at his deformity. He accepted willingly thedifference which the Vicar and Mrs. Carey put between their own exaltedrank and that of the farmers. The doctor had two daughters, but they wereboth much older than Philip and had been married to successive assistantswhile Philip was still a small boy. At school there had been two or threegirls of more boldness than modesty whom some of the boys knew; anddesperate stories, due in all probability to the masculine imagination,were told of intrigues with them; but Philip had always concealed under alofty contempt the terror with which they filled him. His imagination andthe books he had read had inspired in him a desire for the Byronicattitude; and he was torn between a morbid self-consciousness and aconviction that he owed it to himself to be gallant. He felt now that heshould be bright and amusing, but his brain seemed empty and he could notfor the life of him think of anything to say. Fraulein Anna, the FrauProfessor's daughter, addressed herself to him frequently from a sense ofduty, but the other said little: she looked at him now and then withsparkling eyes, and sometimes to his confusion laughed outright. Philipfelt that she thought him perfectly ridiculous. They walked along the sideof a hill among pine-trees, and their pleasant odour caused Philip a keendelight. The day was warm and cloudless. At last they came to an eminencefrom which they saw the valley of the Rhine spread out before them underthe sun. It was a vast stretch of country, sparkling with golden light,with cities in the distance; and through it meandered the silver ribbandof the river. Wide spaces are rare in the corner of Kent which Philipknew, the sea offers the only broad horizon, and the immense distance hesaw now gave him a peculiar, an indescribable thrill. He felt suddenlyelated. Though he did not know it, it was the first time that he hadexperienced, quite undiluted with foreign emotions, the sense of beauty.They sat on a bench, the three of them, for the others had gone on, andwhile the girls talked in rapid German, Philip, indifferent to theirproximity, feasted his eyes."By Jove, I am happy," he said to himself unconsciously.