Chapter 26

by Charles Dickens

　　Is fraught with some Danger to Miss Nickleby's Peace of MindThe place was a handsome suite of private apartments in RegentStreet; the time was three o'clock in the afternoon to the dull andplodding, and the first hour of morning to the gay and spirited; thepersons were Lord Frederick Verisopht, and his friend Sir MulberryHawk.These distinguished gentlemen were reclining listlessly on a coupleof sofas, with a table between them, on which were scattered in richconfusion the materials of an untasted breakfast. Newspapers laystrewn about the room, but these, like the meal, were neglected andunnoticed; not, however, because any flow of conversation preventedthe attractions of the journals from being called into request, fornot a word was exchanged between the two, nor was any sound uttered,save when one, in tossing about to find an easier resting-place forhis aching head, uttered an exclamation of impatience, and seemedfor a moment to communicate a new restlessness to his companion.These appearances would in themselves have furnished a pretty strongclue to the extent of the debauch of the previous night, even ifthere had not been other indications of the amusements in which ithad been passed. A couple of billiard balls, all mud and dirt, twobattered hats, a champagne bottle with a soiled glove twisted roundthe neck, to allow of its being grasped more surely in its capacityof an offensive weapon; a broken cane; a card-case without the top;an empty purse; a watch-guard snapped asunder; a handful of silver,mingled with fragments of half-smoked cigars, and their stale andcrumbled ashes;--these, and many other tokens of riot and disorder,hinted very intelligibly at the nature of last night's gentlemanlyfrolics.Lord Frederick Verisopht was the first to speak. Dropping hisslippered foot on the ground, and, yawning heavily, he struggledinto a sitting posture, and turned his dull languid eyes towards hisfriend, to whom he called in a drowsy voice.'Hallo!' replied Sir Mulberry, turning round.'Are we going to lie here all da-a-y?' said the lord.'I don't know that we're fit for anything else,' replied SirMulberry; 'yet awhile, at least. I haven't a grain of life in methis morning.''Life!' cried Lord Verisopht. 'I feel as if there would be nothingso snug and comfortable as to die at once.''Then why don't you die?' said Sir Mulberry.With which inquiry he turned his face away, and seemed to occupyhimself in an attempt to fall asleep.His hopeful fiend and pupil drew a chair to the breakfast-table, andessayed to eat; but, finding that impossible, lounged to the window,then loitered up and down the room with his hand to his feveredhead, and finally threw himself again on his sofa, and roused hisfriend once more.'What the devil's the matter?' groaned Sir Mulberry, sitting uprighton the couch.Although Sir Mulberry said this with sufficient ill-humour, he didnot seem to feel himself quite at liberty to remain silent; for,after stretching himself very often, and declaring with a shiverthat it was 'infernal cold,' he made an experiment at the breakfast-table, and proving more successful in it than his less-seasonedfriend, remained there.'Suppose,' said Sir Mulberry, pausing with a morsel on the point ofhis fork, 'suppose we go back to the subject of little Nickleby,eh?''Which little Nickleby; the money-lender or the ga-a-l?' asked LordVerisopht.'You take me, I see,' replied Sir Mulberry. 'The girl, of course.''You promised me you'd find her out,' said Lord Verisopht.'So I did,' rejoined his friend; 'but I have thought further of thematter since then. You distrust me in the business--you shall findher out yourself.''Na-ay,' remonstrated Lord Verisopht.'But I say yes,' returned his friend. 'You shall find her outyourself. Don't think that I mean, when you can--I know as well asyou that if I did, you could never get sight of her without me. No.I say you shall find her out--shall--and I'll put you in the way.''Now, curse me, if you ain't a real, deyvlish, downright, thorough-paced friend,' said the young lord, on whom this speech had produceda most reviving effect.'I'll tell you how,' said Sir Mulberry. 'She was at that dinner asa bait for you.''No!' cried the young lord. 'What the dey--''As a bait for you,' repeated his friend; 'old Nickleby told me sohimself.''What a fine old cock it is!' exclaimed Lord Verisopht; 'a noblerascal!''Yes,' said Sir Mulberry, 'he knew she was a smart little creature--''Smart!' interposed the young lord. 'Upon my soul, Hawk, she's aperfect beauty--a--a picture, a statue, a--a--upon my soul she is!''Well,' replied Sir Mulberry, shrugging his shoulders andmanifesting an indifference, whether he felt it or not; 'that's amatter of taste; if mine doesn't agree with yours, so much thebetter.''Confound it!' reasoned the lord, 'you were thick enough with herthat day, anyhow. I could hardly get in a word.''Well enough for once, well enough for once,' replied Sir Mulberry;'but not worth the trouble of being agreeable to again. If youseriously want to follow up the niece, tell the uncle that you mustknow where she lives and how she lives, and with whom, or you are nolonger a customer of his. He'll tell you fast enough.''Why didn't you say this before?' asked Lord Verisopht, 'instead ofletting me go on burning, consuming, dragging out a miserableexistence for an a-age!''I didn't know it, in the first place,' answered Sir Mulberrycarelessly; 'and in the second, I didn't believe you were so verymuch in earnest.'Now, the truth was, that in the interval which had elapsed since thedinner at Ralph Nickleby's, Sir Mulberry Hawk had been furtivelytrying by every means in his power to discover whence Kate had sosuddenly appeared, and whither she had disappeared. Unassisted byRalph, however, with whom he had held no communication since theirangry parting on that occasion, all his efforts were whollyunavailing, and he had therefore arrived at the determination ofcommunicating to the young lord the substance of the admission hehad gleaned from that worthy. To this he was impelled by variousconsiderations; among which the certainty of knowing whatever theweak young man knew was decidedly not the least, as the desire ofencountering the usurer's niece again, and using his utmost arts toreduce her pride, and revenge himself for her contempt, wasuppermost in his thoughts. It was a politic course of proceeding,and one which could not fail to redound to his advantage in everypoint of view, since the very circumstance of his having extortedfrom Ralph Nickleby his real design in introducing his niece to suchsociety, coupled with his extreme disinterestedness in communicatingit so freely to his friend, could not but advance his interests inthat quarter, and greatly facilitate the passage of coin (prettyfrequent and speedy already) from the pockets of Lord FrederickVerisopht to those of Sir Mulberry Hawk.Thus reasoned Sir Mulberry, and in pursuance of this reasoning heand his friend soon afterwards repaired to Ralph Nickleby's, thereto execute a plan of operations concerted by Sir Mulberry himself,avowedly to promote his friend's object, and really to attain hisown.They found Ralph at home, and alone. As he led them into thedrawing-room, the recollection of the scene which had taken placethere seemed to occur to him, for he cast a curious look at SirMulberry, who bestowed upon it no other acknowledgment than acareless smile.They had a short conference upon some money matters then inprogress, which were scarcely disposed of when the lordly dupe (inpursuance of his friend's instructions) requested with someembarrassment to speak to Ralph alone.'Alone, eh?' cried Sir Mulberry, affecting surprise. 'Oh, verygood. I'll walk into the next room here. Don't keep me long,that's all.'So saying, Sir Mulberry took up his hat, and humming a fragment of asong disappeared through the door of communication between the twodrawing-rooms, and closed it after him.'Now, my lord,' said Ralph, 'what is it?''Nickleby,' said his client, throwing himself along the sofa onwhich he had been previously seated, so as to bring his lips nearerto the old man's ear, 'what a pretty creature your niece is!''Is she, my lord?' replied Ralph. 'Maybe--maybe--I don't trouble myhead with such matters.''You know she's a deyvlish fine girl,' said the client. 'You mustknow that, Nickleby. Come, don't deny that.''Yes, I believe she is considered so,' replied Ralph. 'Indeed, Iknow she is. If I did not, you are an authority on such points, andyour taste, my lord--on all points, indeed--is undeniable.'Nobody but the young man to whom these words were addressed couldhave been deaf to the sneering tone in which they were spoken, orblind to the look of contempt by which they were accompanied. ButLord Frederick Verisopht was both, and took them to be complimentary.'Well,' he said, 'p'raps you're a little right, and p'raps you're alittle wrong--a little of both, Nickleby. I want to know where thisbeauty lives, that I may have another peep at her, Nickleby.''Really--' Ralph began in his usual tones.'Don't talk so loud,' cried the other, achieving the great point ofhis lesson to a miracle. 'I don't want Hawk to hear.''You know he is your rival, do you?' said Ralph, looking sharply athim.'He always is, d-a-amn him,' replied the client; 'and I want tosteal a march upon him. Ha, ha, ha! He'll cut up so rough,Nickleby, at our talking together without him. Where does she live,Nickleby, that's all? Only tell me where she lives, Nickleby.''He bites,' thought Ralph. 'He bites.''Eh, Nickleby, eh?' pursued the client. 'Where does she live?''Really, my lord,' said Ralph, rubbing his hands slowly over eachother, 'I must think before I tell you.''No, not a bit of it, Nickleby; you mustn't think at all,' repliedVerisopht. 'Where is it?''No good can come of your knowing,' replied Ralph. 'She has beenvirtuously and well brought up; to be sure she is handsome, poor,unprotected! Poor girl, poor girl.'Ralph ran over this brief summary of Kate's condition as if it weremerely passing through his own mind, and he had no intention tospeak aloud; but the shrewd sly look which he directed at hiscompanion as he delivered it, gave this poor assumption the lie.'I tell you I only want to see her,' cried his client. 'A ma-an maylook at a pretty woman without harm, mayn't he? Now, where does shelive? You know you're making a fortune out of me, Nickleby, andupon my soul nobody shall ever take me to anybody else, if you onlytell me this.''As you promise that, my lord,' said Ralph, with feigned reluctance,'and as I am most anxious to oblige you, and as there's no harm init--no harm--I'll tell you. But you had better keep it to yourself,my lord; strictly to yourself.' Ralph pointed to the adjoining roomas he spoke, and nodded expressively.The young lord, feigning to be equally impressed with the necessityof this precaution, Ralph disclosed the present address andoccupation of his niece, observing that from what he heard of thefamily they appeared very ambitious to have distinguishedacquaintances, and that a lord could, doubtless, introduce himselfwith great ease, if he felt disposed.'Your object being only to see her again,' said Ralph, 'you couldeffect it at any time you chose by that means.'Lord Verisopht acknowledged the hint with a great many squeezes ofRalph's hard, horny hand, and whispering that they would now do wellto close the conversation, called to Sir Mulberry Hawk that he mightcome back.'I thought you had gone to sleep,' said Sir Mulberry, reappearingwith an ill-tempered air.'Sorry to detain you,' replied the gull; 'but Nickleby has been soama-azingly funny that I couldn't tear myself away.''No, no,' said Ralph; 'it was all his lordship. You know what awitty, humorous, elegant, accomplished man Lord Frederick is. Mindthe step, my lord--Sir Mulberry, pray give way.'With such courtesies as these, and many low bows, and the same coldsneer upon his face all the while, Ralph busied himself in showinghis visitors downstairs, and otherwise than by the slightestpossible motion about the corners of his mouth, returned no show ofanswer to the look of admiration with which Sir Mulberry Hawk seemedto compliment him on being such an accomplished and most consummatescoundrel.There had been a ring at the bell a few minutes before, which wasanswered by Newman Noggs just as they reached the hall. In theordinary course of business Newman would have either admitted thenew-comer in silence, or have requested him or her to stand asidewhile the gentlemen passed out. But he no sooner saw who it was,than as if for some private reason of his own, he boldly departedfrom the established custom of Ralph's mansion in business hours,and looking towards the respectable trio who were approaching, criedin a loud and sonorous voice, 'Mrs Nickleby!''Mrs Nickleby!' cried Sir Mulberry Hawk, as his friend looked back,and stared him in the face.It was, indeed, that well-intentioned lady, who, having received anoffer for the empty house in the city directed to the landlord, hadbrought it post-haste to Mr Nickleby without delay.'Nobody you know,' said Ralph. 'Step into the office, my--my--dear.I'll be with you directly.''Nobody I know!' cried Sir Mulberry Hawk, advancing to theastonished lady. 'Is this Mrs Nickleby--the mother of MissNickleby--the delightful creature that I had the happiness ofmeeting in this house the very last time I dined here? But no;'said Sir Mulberry, stopping short. 'No, it can't be. There is thesame cast of features, the same indescribable air of--But no; no.This lady is too young for that.''I think you can tell the gentleman, brother-in-law, if it concernshim to know,' said Mrs Nickleby, acknowledging the compliment with agraceful bend, 'that Kate Nickleby is my daughter.''Her daughter, my lord!' cried Sir Mulberry, turning to his friend.'This lady's daughter, my lord.''My lord!' thought Mrs Nickleby. 'Well, I never did--''This, then, my lord,' said Sir Mulberry, 'is the lady to whoseobliging marriage we owe so much happiness. This lady is the motherof sweet Miss Nickleby. Do you observe the extraordinary likeness,my lord? Nickleby--introduce us.'Ralph did so, in a kind of desperation.'Upon my soul, it's a most delightful thing," said Lord Frederick,pressing forward. 'How de do?'Mrs Nickleby was too much flurried by these uncommonly kindsalutations, and her regrets at not having on her other bonnet, tomake any immediate reply, so she merely continued to bend and smile,and betray great agitation.'A--and how is Miss Nickleby?' said Lord Frederick. 'Well, I hope?''She is quite well, I'm obliged to you, my lord,' returned MrsNickleby, recovering. 'Quite well. She wasn't well for some daysafter that day she dined here, and I can't help thinking, that shecaught cold in that hackney coach coming home. Hackney coaches, mylord, are such nasty things, that it's almost better to walk at anytime, for although I believe a hackney coachman can be transportedfor life, if he has a broken window, still they are so reckless,that they nearly all have broken windows. I once had a swelled facefor six weeks, my lord, from riding in a hackney coach--I think itwas a hackney coach,' said Mrs Nickleby reflecting, 'though I'm notquite certain whether it wasn't a chariot; at all events I know itwas a dark green, with a very long number, beginning with a noughtand ending with a nine--no, beginning with a nine, and ending with anought, that was it, and of course the stamp-office people wouldknow at once whether it was a coach or a chariot if any inquirieswere made there--however that was, there it was with a broken windowand there was I for six weeks with a swelled face--I think that wasthe very same hackney coach, that we found out afterwards, had thetop open all the time, and we should never even have known it, ifthey hadn't charged us a shilling an hour extra for having it open,which it seems is the law, or was then, and a most shameful law itappears to be--I don't understand the subject, but I should say theCorn Laws could be nothing to that act of Parliament.'Having pretty well run herself out by this time, Mrs Nicklebystopped as suddenly as she had started off; and repeated that Katewas quite well. 'Indeed,' said Mrs Nickleby, 'I don't think sheever was better, since she had the hooping-cough, scarlet-fever, andmeasles, all at the same time, and that's the fact.''Is that letter for me?' growled Ralph, pointing to the littlepacket Mrs Nickleby held in her hand.'For you, brother-in-law,' replied Mrs Nickleby, 'and I walked allthe way up here on purpose to give it you.''All the way up here!' cried Sir Mulberry, seizing upon the chanceof discovering where Mrs Nickleby had come from. 'What a confoundeddistance! How far do you call it now?''How far do I call it?' said Mrs Nickleby. 'Let me see. It's justa mile from our door to the Old Bailey.''No, no. Not so much as that,' urged Sir Mulberry.'Oh! It is indeed,' said Mrs Nickleby. 'I appeal to his lordship.''I should decidedly say it was a mile,' remarked Lord Frederick,with a solemn aspect.'It must be; it can't be a yard less,' said Mrs Nickleby. 'Alldown Newgate Street, all down Cheapside, all up Lombard Street, downGracechurch Street, and along Thames Street, as far as Spigwiffin'sWharf. Oh! It's a mile.''Yes, on second thoughts I should say it was,' replied Sir Mulberry.'But you don't surely mean to walk all the way back?''Oh, no,' rejoined Mrs Nickleby. 'I shall go back in an omnibus. Ididn't travel about in omnibuses, when my poor dear Nicholas wasalive, brother-in-law. But as it is, you know--''Yes, yes,' replied Ralph impatiently, 'and you had better get backbefore dark.''Thank you, brother-in-law, so I had,' returned Mrs Nickleby. 'Ithink I had better say goodbye, at once.''Not stop and--rest?' said Ralph, who seldom offered refreshmentsunless something was to be got by it.'Oh dear me no,' returned Mrs Nickleby, glancing at the dial.'Lord Frederick,' said Sir Mulberry, 'we are going Mrs Nickleby'sway. We'll see her safe to the omnibus?''By all means. Ye-es.''Oh! I really couldn't think of it!' said Mrs Nickleby.But Sir Mulberry Hawk and Lord Verisopht were peremptory in theirpoliteness, and leaving Ralph, who seemed to think, not unwisely,that he looked less ridiculous as a mere spectator, than he wouldhave done if he had taken any part in these proceedings, theyquitted the house with Mrs Nickleby between them; that good lady ina perfect ecstasy of satisfaction, no less with the attentions shownher by two titled gentlemen, than with the conviction that Katemight now pick and choose, at least between two large fortunes, andmost unexceptionable husbands.As she was carried away for the moment by an irresistible train ofthought, all connected with her daughter's future greatness, SirMulberry Hawk and his friend exchanged glances over the top of thebonnet which the poor lady so much regretted not having left athome, and proceeded to dilate with great rapture, but much respecton the manifold perfections of Miss Nickleby.'What a delight, what a comfort, what a happiness, this amiablecreature must be to you,' said Sir Mulberry, throwing into his voicean indication of the warmest feeling.'She is indeed, sir,' replied Mrs Nickleby; 'she is the sweetest-tempered, kindest-hearted creature--and so clever!''She looks clayver,' said Lord Verisopht, with the air of a judge ofcleverness.'I assure you she is, my lord,' returned Mrs Nickleby. 'When shewas at school in Devonshire, she was universally allowed to bebeyond all exception the very cleverest girl there, and there were agreat many very clever ones too, and that's the truth--twenty-fiveyoung ladies, fifty guineas a year without the et-ceteras, both theMiss Dowdles the most accomplished, elegant, fascinating creatures--Oh dear me!' said Mrs Nickleby, 'I never shall forget what pleasureshe used to give me and her poor dear papa, when she was at thatschool, never--such a delightful letter every half-year, telling usthat she was the first pupil in the whole establishment, and hadmade more progress than anybody else! I can scarcely bear to thinkof it even now. The girls wrote all the letters themselves,' addedMrs Nickleby, 'and the writing-master touched them up afterwardswith a magnifying glass and a silver pen; at least I think theywrote them, though Kate was never quite certain about that, becauseshe didn't know the handwriting of hers again; but anyway, I know itwas a circular which they all copied, and of course it was a verygratifying thing--very gratifying.'With similar recollections Mrs Nickleby beguiled the tediousness ofthe way, until they reached the omnibus, which the extremepoliteness of her new friends would not allow them to leave until itactually started, when they took their hats, as Mrs Nicklebysolemnly assured her hearers on many subsequent occasions,'completely off,' and kissed their straw-coloured kid gloves tillthey were no longer visible.Mrs Nickleby leant back in the furthest corner of the conveyance,and, closing her eyes, resigned herself to a host of most pleasingmeditations. Kate had never said a word about having met either ofthese gentlemen; 'that,' she thought, 'argues that she is stronglyprepossessed in favour of one of them.' Then the question arose,which one could it be. The lord was the youngest, and his title wascertainly the grandest; still Kate was not the girl to be swayed bysuch considerations as these. 'I will never put any constraint uponher inclinations,' said Mrs Nickleby to herself; 'but upon my word Ithink there's no comparison between his lordship and Sir Mulberry--Sir Mulberry is such an attentive gentlemanly creature, so muchmanner, such a fine man, and has so much to say for himself. I hopeit's Sir Mulberry--I think it must be Sir Mulberry!' And then herthoughts flew back to her old predictions, and the number of timesshe had said, that Kate with no fortune would marry better thanother people's daughters with thousands; and, as she pictured withthe brightness of a mother's fancy all the beauty and grace of thepoor girl who had struggled so cheerfully with her new life ofhardship and trial, her heart grew too full, and the tears trickleddown her face.Meanwhile, Ralph walked to and fro in his little back-office,troubled in mind by what had just occurred. To say that Ralph lovedor cared for--in the most ordinary acceptation of those terms--anyone of God's creatures, would be the wildest fiction. Still, therehad somehow stolen upon him from time to time a thought of his niecewhich was tinged with compassion and pity; breaking through the dullcloud of dislike or indifference which darkened men and women in hiseyes, there was, in her case, the faintest gleam of light--a mostfeeble and sickly ray at the best of times--but there it was, and itshowed the poor girl in a better and purer aspect than any in whichhe had looked on human nature yet.'I wish,' thought Ralph, 'I had never done this. And yet it willkeep this boy to me, while there is money to be made. Selling agirl--throwing her in the way of temptation, and insult, and coarsespeech. Nearly two thousand pounds profit from him already though.Pshaw! match-making mothers do the same thing every day.'He sat down, and told the chances, for and against, on his fingers.'If I had not put them in the right track today,' thought Ralph,'this foolish woman would have done so. Well. If her daughter isas true to herself as she should be from what I have seen, what harmensues? A little teasing, a little humbling, a few tears. Yes,'said Ralph, aloud, as he locked his iron safe. 'She must take herchance. She must take her chance.'