Chapter 16

by Charles Dickens

　　Nicholas seeks to employ himself in a New Capacity, and beingunsuccessful, accepts an engagement as Tutor in a Private FamilyThe first care of Nicholas, next morning, was, to look after someroom in which, until better times dawned upon him, he could contriveto exist, without trenching upon the hospitality of Newman Noggs,who would have slept upon the stairs with pleasure, so that hisyoung friend was accommodated.The vacant apartment to which the bill in the parlour window borereference, appeared, on inquiry, to be a small back-room on thesecond floor, reclaimed from the leads, and overlooking a soot-bespeckled prospect of tiles and chimney-pots. For the letting ofthis portion of the house from week to week, on reasonable terms,the parlour lodger was empowered to treat; he being deputed by thelandlord to dispose of the rooms as they became vacant, and to keepa sharp look-out that the lodgers didn't run away. As a means ofsecuring the punctual discharge of which last service he waspermitted to live rent-free, lest he should at any time be temptedto run away himself.Of this chamber, Nicholas became the tenant; and having hired a fewcommon articles of furniture from a neighbouring broker, and paidthe first week's hire in advance, out of a small fund raised by theconversion of some spare clothes into ready money, he sat himselfdown to ruminate upon his prospects, which, like the prospectoutside his window, were sufficiently confined and dingy. As theyby no means improved on better acquaintance, and as familiaritybreeds contempt, he resolved to banish them from his thoughts bydint of hard walking. So, taking up his hat, and leaving poor Smiketo arrange and rearrange the room with as much delight as if it hadbeen the costliest palace, he betook himself to the streets, andmingled with the crowd which thronged them.Although a man may lose a sense of his own importance when he is amere unit among a busy throng, all utterly regardless of him, it byno means follows that he can dispossess himself, with equalfacility, of a very strong sense of the importance and magnitude ofhis cares. The unhappy state of his own affairs was the one ideawhich occupied the brain of Nicholas, walk as fast as he would; andwhen he tried to dislodge it by speculating on the situation andprospects of the people who surrounded him, he caught himself, in afew seconds, contrasting their condition with his own, and glidingalmost imperceptibly back into his old train of thought again.Occupied in these reflections, as he was making his way along one ofthe great public thoroughfares of London, he chanced to raise hiseyes to a blue board, whereon was inscribed, in characters of gold,'General Agency Office; for places and situations of all kindsinquire within.' It was a shop-front, fitted up with a gauze blindand an inner door; and in the window hung a long and tempting arrayof written placards, announcing vacant places of every grade, from asecretary's to a foot-boy's.Nicholas halted, instinctively, before this temple of promise, andran his eye over the capital-text openings in life which were soprofusely displayed. When he had completed his survey he walked ona little way, and then back, and then on again; at length, afterpausing irresolutely several times before the door of the GeneralAgency Office, he made up his mind, and stepped in.He found himself in a little floor-clothed room, with a high deskrailed off in one corner, behind which sat a lean youth with cunningeyes and a protruding chin, whose performances in capital-textdarkened the window. He had a thick ledger lying open before him,and with the fingers of his right hand inserted between the leaves,and his eyes fixed on a very fat old lady in a mob-cap--evidentlythe proprietress of the establishment--who was airing herself at thefire, seemed to be only waiting her directions to refer to someentries contained within its rusty clasps.As there was a board outside, which acquainted the public thatservants-of-all-work were perpetually in waiting to be hired fromten till four, Nicholas knew at once that some half-dozen strongyoung women, each with pattens and an umbrella, who were sittingupon a form in one corner, were in attendance for that purpose:especially as the poor things looked anxious and weary. He was notquite so certain of the callings and stations of two smart youngladies who were in conversation with the fat lady before the fire,until--having sat himself down in a corner, and remarked that hewould wait until the other customers had been served--the fat ladyresumed the dialogue which his entrance had interrupted.'Cook, Tom,' said the fat lady, still airing herself as aforesaid.'Cook,' said Tom, turning over some leaves of the ledger. 'Well!''Read out an easy place or two,' said the fat lady.'Pick out very light ones, if you please, young man,' interposed agenteel female, in shepherd's-plaid boots, who appeared to be theclient.'"Mrs Marker,"' said Tom, reading, '"Russell Place, Russell Square;offers eighteen guineas; tea and sugar found. Two in family, andsee very little company. Five servants kept. No man. Nofollowers."''Oh Lor!' tittered the client. 'That won't do. Read another, youngman, will you?''"Mrs Wrymug,"' said Tom, '"Pleasant Place, Finsbury. Wages, twelveguineas. No tea, no sugar. Serious family--"''Ah! you needn't mind reading that,' interrupted the client.'"Three serious footmen,"' said Tom, impressively.'Three? did you say?' asked the client in an altered tone.'Three serious footmen,' replied Tom. '"Cook, housemaid, andnursemaid; each female servant required to join the Little BethelCongregation three times every Sunday--with a serious footman. Ifthe cook is more serious than the footman, she will be expected toimprove the footman; if the footman is more serious than the cook,he will be expected to improve the cook."''I'll take the address of that place,' said the client; 'I don'tknow but what it mightn't suit me pretty well.''Here's another,' remarked Tom, turning over the leaves. '"Familyof Mr Gallanbile, MP. Fifteen guineas, tea and sugar, and servantsallowed to see male cousins, if godly. Note. Cold dinner in thekitchen on the Sabbath, Mr Gallanbile being devoted to theObservance question. No victuals whatever cooked on the Lord's Day,with the exception of dinner for Mr and Mrs Gallanbile, which, beinga work of piety and necessity, is exempted. Mr Gallanbile dineslate on the day of rest, in order to prevent the sinfulness of thecook's dressing herself."''I don't think that'll answer as well as the other,' said theclient, after a little whispering with her friend. 'I'll take theother direction, if you please, young man. I can but come backagain, if it don't do.'Tom made out the address, as requested, and the genteel client,having satisfied the fat lady with a small fee, meanwhile, went awayaccompanied by her friend.As Nicholas opened his mouth, to request the young man to turn toletter S, and let him know what secretaryships remained undisposedof, there came into the office an applicant, in whose favour heimmediately retired, and whose appearance both surprised andinterested him.This was a young lady who could be scarcely eighteen, of very slightand delicate figure, but exquisitely shaped, who, walking timidly upto the desk, made an inquiry, in a very low tone of voice, relativeto some situation as governess, or companion to a lady. She raisedher veil, for an instant, while she preferred the inquiry, anddisclosed a countenance of most uncommon beauty, though shaded by acloud of sadness, which, in one so young, was doubly remarkable.Having received a card of reference to some person on the books, shemade the usual acknowledgment, and glided away.She was neatly, but very quietly attired; so much so, indeed, thatit seemed as though her dress, if it had been worn by one whoimparted fewer graces of her own to it, might have looked poor andshabby. Her attendant--for she had one--was a red-faced, round-eyed, slovenly girl, who, from a certain roughness about the barearms that peeped from under her draggled shawl, and the half-washed-out traces of smut and blacklead which tattooed her countenance, wasclearly of a kin with the servants-of-all-work on the form: betweenwhom and herself there had passed various grins and glances,indicative of the freemasonry of the craft.This girl followed her mistress; and, before Nicholas had recoveredfrom the first effects of his surprise and admiration, the younglady was gone. It is not a matter of such complete and utterimprobability as some sober people may think, that he would havefollowed them out, had he not been restrained by what passed betweenthe fat lady and her book-keeper.'When is she coming again, Tom?' asked the fat lady.'Tomorrow morning,' replied Tom, mending his pen.'Where have you sent her to?' asked the fat lady.'Mrs Clark's,' replied Tom.'She'll have a nice life of it, if she goes there,' observed the fatlady, taking a pinch of snuff from a tin box.Tom made no other reply than thrusting his tongue into his cheek,and pointing the feather of his pen towards Nicholas--reminderswhich elicited from the fat lady an inquiry, of 'Now, sir, what canwe do for you?'Nicholas briefly replied, that he wanted to know whether there wasany such post to be had, as secretary or amanuensis to a gentleman.'Any such!' rejoined the mistress; 'a-dozen-such. An't there, Tom?''I should think so,' answered that young gentleman; and as he saidit, he winked towards Nicholas, with a degree of familiarity whichhe, no doubt, intended for a rather flattering compliment, but withwhich Nicholas was most ungratefully disgusted.Upon reference to the book, it appeared that the dozen secretaryshipshad dwindled down to one. Mr Gregsbury, the great member ofparliament, of Manchester Buildings, Westminster, wanted ayoung man, to keep his papers and correspondence in order; andNicholas was exactly the sort of young man that Mr Gregsbury wanted.'I don't know what the terms are, as he said he'd settle themhimself with the party,' observed the fat lady; 'but they must bepretty good ones, because he's a member of parliament.'Inexperienced as he was, Nicholas did not feel quite assured of theforce of this reasoning, or the justice of this conclusion; butwithout troubling himself to question it, he took down the address,and resolved to wait upon Mr Gregsbury without delay.'I don't know what the number is,' said Tom; 'but ManchesterBuildings isn't a large place; and if the worst comes to the worstit won't take you very long to knock at all the doors on both sidesof the way till you find him out. I say, what a good-looking galthat was, wasn't she?''What girl?' demanded Nicholas, sternly.'Oh yes. I know--what gal, eh?' whispered Tom, shutting one eye,and cocking his chin in the air. 'You didn't see her, you didn't--Isay, don't you wish you was me, when she comes tomorrow morning?'Nicholas looked at the ugly clerk, as if he had a mind to reward hisadmiration of the young lady by beating the ledger about his ears,but he refrained, and strode haughtily out of the office; setting atdefiance, in his indignation, those ancient laws of chivalry, whichnot only made it proper and lawful for all good knights to hear thepraise of the ladies to whom they were devoted, but rendered itincumbent upon them to roam about the world, and knock at head allsuch matter-of-fact and un-poetical characters, as declined toexalt, above all the earth, damsels whom they had never chanced tolook upon or hear of--as if that were any excuse!Thinking no longer of his own misfortunes, but wondering what couldbe those of the beautiful girl he had seen, Nicholas, with manywrong turns, and many inquiries, and almost as many misdirections,bent his steps towards the place whither he had been directed.Within the precincts of the ancient city of Westminster, and withinhalf a quarter of a mile of its ancient sanctuary, is a narrow anddirty region, the sanctuary of the smaller members of Parliament inmodern days. It is all comprised in one street of gloomy lodging-houses, from whose windows, in vacation-time, there frown longmelancholy rows of bills, which say, as plainly as did thecountenances of their occupiers, ranged on ministerial andopposition benches in the session which slumbers with its fathers,'To Let', 'To Let'. In busier periods of the year these billsdisappear, and the houses swarm with legislators. There arelegislators in the parlours, in the first floor, in the second, inthe third, in the garrets; the small apartments reek with the breathof deputations and delegates. In damp weather, the place isrendered close, by the steams of moist acts of parliament and frouzypetitions; general postmen grow faint as they enter its infectedlimits, and shabby figures in quest of franks, flit restlessly toand fro like the troubled ghosts of Complete Letter-writersdeparted. This is Manchester Buildings; and here, at all hours ofthe night, may be heard the rattling of latch-keys in theirrespective keyholes: with now and then--when a gust of wind sweepingacross the water which washes the Buildings' feet, impels the soundtowards its entrance--the weak, shrill voice of some young memberpractising tomorrow's speech. All the livelong day, there is agrinding of organs and clashing and clanging of little boxes ofmusic; for Manchester Buildings is an eel-pot, which has no outletbut its awkward mouth--a case-bottle which has no thoroughfare, anda short and narrow neck--and in this respect it may be typical ofthe fate of some few among its more adventurous residents, who,after wriggling themselves into Parliament by violent efforts andcontortions, find that it, too, is no thoroughfare for them; that,like Manchester Buildings, it leads to nothing beyond itself; andthat they are fain at last to back out, no wiser, no richer, not onewhit more famous, than they went in.Into Manchester Buildings Nicholas turned, with the address of thegreat Mr Gregsbury in his hand. As there was a stream of peoplepouring into a shabby house not far from the entrance, he waiteduntil they had made their way in, and then making up to the servant,ventured to inquire if he knew where Mr Gregsbury lived.The servant was a very pale, shabby boy, who looked as if he hadslept underground from his infancy, as very likely he had. 'MrGregsbury?' said he; 'Mr Gregsbury lodges here. It's all right.Come in!'Nicholas thought he might as well get in while he could, so in hewalked; and he had no sooner done so, than the boy shut the door,and made off.This was odd enough: but what was more embarrassing was, that allalong the passage, and all along the narrow stairs, blocking up thewindow, and making the dark entry darker still, was a confused crowdof persons with great importance depicted in their looks; who were,to all appearance, waiting in silent expectation of some comingevent. From time to time, one man would whisper his neighbour, or alittle group would whisper together, and then the whisperers wouldnod fiercely to each other, or give their heads a relentless shake,as if they were bent upon doing something very desperate, and weredetermined not to be put off, whatever happened.As a few minutes elapsed without anything occurring to explain thisphenomenon, and as he felt his own position a peculiarlyuncomfortable one, Nicholas was on the point of seeking someinformation from the man next him, when a sudden move was visible onthe stairs, and a voice was heard to cry, 'Now, gentleman, have thegoodness to walk up!'So far from walking up, the gentlemen on the stairs began to walkdown with great alacrity, and to entreat, with extraordinarypoliteness, that the gentlemen nearest the street would go first;the gentlemen nearest the street retorted, with equal courtesy, thatthey couldn't think of such a thing on any account; but they did it,without thinking of it, inasmuch as the other gentlemen pressingsome half-dozen (among whom was Nicholas) forward, and closing upbehind, pushed them, not merely up the stairs, but into the verysitting-room of Mr Gregsbury, which they were thus compelled toenter with most unseemly precipitation, and without the means ofretreat; the press behind them, more than filling the apartment.'Gentlemen,' said Mr Gregsbury, 'you are welcome. I am rejoiced tosee you.'For a gentleman who was rejoiced to see a body of visitors, MrGregsbury looked as uncomfortable as might be; but perhaps this wasoccasioned by senatorial gravity, and a statesmanlike habit ofkeeping his feelings under control. He was a tough, burly, thick-headed gentleman, with a loud voice, a pompous manner, a tolerablecommand of sentences with no meaning in them, and, in short, everyrequisite for a very good member indeed.'Now, gentlemen,' said Mr Gregsbury, tossing a great bundle ofpapers into a wicker basket at his feet, and throwing himself backin his chair with his arms over the elbows, 'you are dissatisfiedwith my conduct, I see by the newspapers.''Yes, Mr Gregsbury, we are,' said a plump old gentleman in a violentheat, bursting out of the throng, and planting himself in the front.'Do my eyes deceive me,' said Mr Gregsbury, looking towards thespeaker, 'or is that my old friend Pugstyles?''I am that man, and no other, sir,' replied the plump old gentleman.'Give me your hand, my worthy friend,' said Mr Gregsbury.'Pugstyles, my dear friend, I am very sorry to see you here.''I am very sorry to be here, sir,' said Mr Pugstyles; 'but yourconduct, Mr Gregsbury, has rendered this deputation from yourconstituents imperatively necessary.''My conduct, Pugstyles,' said Mr Gregsbury, looking round upon thedeputation with gracious magnanimity--'my conduct has been, and everwill be, regulated by a sincere regard for the true and realinterests of this great and happy country. Whether I look at home,or abroad; whether I behold the peaceful industrious communities ofour island home: her rivers covered with steamboats, her roads withlocomotives, her streets with cabs, her skies with balloons of apower and magnitude hitherto unknown in the history of aeronauticsin this or any other nation--I say, whether I look merely at home,or, stretching my eyes farther, contemplate the boundless prospectof conquest and possession--achieved by British perseverance andBritish valour--which is outspread before me, I clasp my hands, andturning my eyes to the broad expanse above my head, exclaim, "ThankHeaven, I am a Briton!"'The time had been, when this burst of enthusiasm would have beencheered to the very echo; but now, the deputation received it withchilling coldness. The general impression seemed to be, that as anexplanation of Mr Gregsbury's political conduct, it did not enterquite enough into detail; and one gentleman in the rear did notscruple to remark aloud, that, for his purpose, it savoured rathertoo much of a 'gammon' tendency.'The meaning of that term--gammon,' said Mr Gregsbury, 'is unknownto me. If it means that I grow a little too fervid, or perhaps evenhyperbolical, in extolling my native land, I admit the full justiceof the remark. I am proud of this free and happy country. My formdilates, my eye glistens, my breast heaves, my heart swells, mybosom burns, when I call to mind her greatness and her glory.''We wish, sir,' remarked Mr Pugstyles, calmly, 'to ask you a fewquestions.''If you please, gentlemen; my time is yours--and my country's--andmy country's--' said Mr Gregsbury.This permission being conceded, Mr Pugstyles put on his spectacles,and referred to a written paper which he drew from his pocket;whereupon nearly every other member of the deputation pulled awritten paper from his pocket, to check Mr Pugstyles off, as he readthe questions.This done, Mr Pugstyles proceeded to business.'Question number one.--Whether, sir, you did not give a voluntarypledge previous to your election, that in event of your beingreturned, you would immediately put down the practice of coughingand groaning in the House of Commons. And whether you did notsubmit to be coughed and groaned down in the very first debate ofthe session, and have since made no effort to effect a reform inthis respect? Whether you did not also pledge yourself to astonishthe government, and make them shrink in their shoes? And whetheryou have astonished them, and made them shrink in their shoes, ornot?''Go on to the next one, my dear Pugstyles,' said Mr Gregsbury.'Have you any explanation to offer with reference to that question,sir?' asked Mr Pugstyles.'Certainly not,' said Mr Gregsbury.The members of the deputation looked fiercely at each other, andafterwards at the member. 'Dear Pugstyles' having taken a very longstare at Mr Gregsbury over the tops of his spectacles, resumed hislist of inquiries.'Question number two.--Whether, sir, you did not likewise give avoluntary pledge that you would support your colleague on everyoccasion; and whether you did not, the night before last, desert himand vote upon the other side, because the wife of a leader on thatother side had invited Mrs Gregsbury to an evening party?''Go on,' said Mr Gregsbury.'Nothing to say on that, either, sir?' asked the spokesman.'Nothing whatever,' replied Mr Gregsbury. The deputation, who hadonly seen him at canvassing or election time, were struck dumb byhis coolness. He didn't appear like the same man; then he was allmilk and honey; now he was all starch and vinegar. But men are sodifferent at different times!'Question number three--and last,' said Mr Pugstyles, emphatically.'Whether, sir, you did not state upon the hustings, that it was yourfirm and determined intention to oppose everything proposed; todivide the house upon every question, to move for returns on everysubject, to place a motion on the books every day, and, in short, inyour own memorable words, to play the very devil with everything andeverybody?' With this comprehensive inquiry, Mr Pugstyles folded uphis list of questions, as did all his backers.Mr Gregsbury reflected, blew his nose, threw himself further back inhis chair, came forward again, leaning his elbows on the table, madea triangle with his two thumbs and his two forefingers, and tappinghis nose with the apex thereof, replied (smiling as he said it), 'Ideny everything.'At this unexpected answer, a hoarse murmur arose from thedeputation; and the same gentleman who had expressed an opinionrelative to the gammoning nature of the introductory speech, againmade a monosyllabic demonstration, by growling out 'Resign!' Whichgrowl being taken up by his fellows, swelled into a very earnest andgeneral remonstrance.'I am requested, sir, to express a hope,' said Mr Pugstyles, with adistant bow, 'that on receiving a requisition to that effect from agreat majority of your constituents, you will not object at once toresign your seat in favour of some candidate whom they think theycan better trust.'To this, Mr Gregsbury read the following reply, which, anticipatingthe request, he had composed in the form of a letter, whereof copieshad been made to send round to the newspapers.'My Dear Mr Pugstyles,'Next to the welfare of our beloved island--this great and freeand happy country, whose powers and resources are, I sincerelybelieve, illimitable--I value that noble independence which isan Englishman's proudest boast, and which I fondly hope to bequeathto my children, untarnished and unsullied. Actuated by no personalmotives, but moved only by high and great constitutionalconsiderations; which I will not attempt to explain, for they arereally beneath the comprehension of those who have not madethemselves masters, as I have, of the intricate and arduousstudy of politics; I would rather keep my seat, and intend doing so.'Will you do me the favour to present my compliments to theconstituent body, and acquaint them with this circumstance?'With great esteem,'My dear Mr Pugstyles,'&c.&c.''Then you will not resign, under any circumstances?' asked thespokesman.Mr Gregsbury smiled, and shook his head.'Then, good-morning, sir,' said Pugstyles, angrily.'Heaven bless you!' said Mr Gregsbury. And the deputation, withmany growls and scowls, filed off as quickly as the narrowness ofthe staircase would allow of their getting down.The last man being gone, Mr Gregsbury rubbed his hands and chuckled,as merry fellows will, when they think they have said or done a morethan commonly good thing; he was so engrossed in this self-congratulation, that he did not observe that Nicholas had been leftbehind in the shadow of the window-curtains, until that younggentleman, fearing he might otherwise overhear some soliloquyintended to have no listeners, coughed twice or thrice, to attractthe member's notice.'What's that?' said Mr Gregsbury, in sharp accents.Nicholas stepped forward, and bowed.'What do you do here, sir?' asked Mr Gregsbury; 'a spy upon myprivacy! A concealed voter! You have heard my answer, sir. Prayfollow the deputation.''I should have done so, if I had belonged to it, but I do not,' saidNicholas.'Then how came you here, sir?' was the natural inquiry of MrGregsbury, MP. 'And where the devil have you come from, sir?' wasthe question which followed it.'I brought this card from the General Agency Office, sir,' saidNicholas, 'wishing to offer myself as your secretary, andunderstanding that you stood in need of one.''That's all you have come for, is it?' said Mr Gregsbury, eyeing himin some doubt.Nicholas replied in the affirmative.'You have no connection with any of those rascally papers have you?'said Mr Gregsbury. 'You didn't get into the room, to hear what wasgoing forward, and put it in print, eh?''I have no connection, I am sorry to say, with anything at present,'rejoined Nicholas,--politely enough, but quite at his ease.'Oh!' said Mr Gregsbury. 'How did you find your way up here, then?'Nicholas related how he had been forced up by the deputation.'That was the way, was it?' said Mr Gregsbury. 'Sit down.'Nicholas took a chair, and Mr Gregsbury stared at him for a longtime, as if to make certain, before he asked any further questions,that there were no objections to his outward appearance.'You want to be my secretary, do you?' he said at length.'I wish to be employed in that capacity, sir,' replied Nicholas.'Well,' said Mr Gregsbury; 'now what can you do?''I suppose,' replied Nicholas, smiling, 'that I can do what usuallyfalls to the lot of other secretaries.''What's that?' inquired Mr Gregsbury.'What is it?' replied Nicholas.'Ah! What is it?' retorted the member, looking shrewdly at him,with his head on one side.'A secretary's duties are rather difficult to define, perhaps,' saidNicholas, considering. 'They include, I presume, correspondence?''Good,' interposed Mr Gregsbury.'The arrangement of papers and documents?''Very good.''Occasionally, perhaps, the writing from your dictation; andpossibly, sir,' said Nicholas, with a half-smile, 'the copying ofyour speech for some public journal, when you have made one of morethan usual importance.''Certainly,' rejoined Mr Gregsbury. 'What else?''Really,' said Nicholas, after a moment's reflection, 'I am notable, at this instant, to recapitulate any other duty of asecretary, beyond the general one of making himself as agreeable anduseful to his employer as he can, consistently with his ownrespectability, and without overstepping that line of duties whichhe undertakes to perform, and which the designation of his office isusually understood to imply.'Mr Gregsbury looked fixedly at Nicholas for a short time, and thenglancing warily round the room, said in a suppressed voice:'This is all very well, Mr--what is your name?''Nickleby.''This is all very well, Mr Nickleby, and very proper, so far as itgoes--so far as it goes, but it doesn't go far enough. There areother duties, Mr Nickleby, which a secretary to a parliamentarygentleman must never lose sight of. I should require to be crammed,sir.''I beg your pardon,' interposed Nicholas, doubtful whether he hadheard aright.'--To be crammed, sir,' repeated Mr Gregsbury.'May I beg your pardon again, if I inquire what you mean, sir?' saidNicholas.'My meaning, sir, is perfectly plain,' replied Mr Gregsbury with asolemn aspect. 'My secretary would have to make himself master ofthe foreign policy of the world, as it is mirrored in thenewspapers; to run his eye over all accounts of public meetings, allleading articles, and accounts of the proceedings of public bodies;and to make notes of anything which it appeared to him might be madea point of, in any little speech upon the question of some petitionlying on the table, or anything of that kind. Do you understand?''I think I do, sir,' replied Nicholas.'Then,' said Mr Gregsbury, 'it would be necessary for him to makehimself acquainted, from day to day, with newspaper paragraphs onpassing events; such as "Mysterious disappearance, and supposedsuicide of a potboy," or anything of that sort, upon which I mightfound a question to the Secretary of State for the Home Department.Then, he would have to copy the question, and as much as Iremembered of the answer (including a little compliment aboutindependence and good sense); and to send the manuscript in a frankto the local paper, with perhaps half-a-dozen lines of leader, tothe effect, that I was always to be found in my place in parliament,and never shrunk from the responsible and arduous duties, and soforth. You see?'Nicholas bowed.'Besides which,' continued Mr Gregsbury, 'I should expect him, nowand then, to go through a few figures in the printed tables, and topick out a few results, so that I might come out pretty well ontimber duty questions, and finance questions, and so on; and Ishould like him to get up a few little arguments about thedisastrous effects of a return to cash payments and a metalliccurrency, with a touch now and then about the exportation ofbullion, and the Emperor of Russia, and bank notes, and all thatkind of thing, which it's only necessary to talk fluently about,because nobody understands it. Do you take me?''I think I understand,' said Nicholas.'With regard to such questions as are not political,' continued MrGregsbury, warming; 'and which one can't be expected to care a curseabout, beyond the natural care of not allowing inferior people to beas well off as ourselves--else where are our privileges?--I shouldwish my secretary to get together a few little flourishing speeches,of a patriotic cast. For instance, if any preposterous bill werebrought forward, for giving poor grubbing devils of authors a rightto their own property, I should like to say, that I for one wouldnever consent to opposing an insurmountable bar to the diffusion ofliterature among the people,--you understand?--that the creations ofthe pocket, being man's, might belong to one man, or one family; butthat the creations of the brain, being God's, ought as a matter ofcourse to belong to the people at large--and if I was pleasantlydisposed, I should like to make a joke about posterity, and say thatthose who wrote for posterity should be content to be rewarded bythe approbation of posterity; it might take with the house, andcould never do me any harm, because posterity can't be expected toknow anything about me or my jokes either--do you see?''I see that, sir,' replied Nicholas.'You must always bear in mind, in such cases as this, where ourinterests are not affected,' said Mr Gregsbury, 'to put it verystrong about the people, because it comes out very well at election-time; and you could be as funny as you liked about the authors;because I believe the greater part of them live in lodgings, and arenot voters. This is a hasty outline of the chief things you'd haveto do, except waiting in the lobby every night, in case I forgotanything, and should want fresh cramming; and, now and then, duringgreat debates, sitting in the front row of the gallery, and sayingto the people about--'You see that gentleman, with his hand to hisface, and his arm twisted round the pillar--that's Mr Gregsbury--thecelebrated Mr Gregsbury,'--with any other little eulogium that mightstrike you at the moment. And for salary,' said Mr Gregsbury,winding up with great rapidity; for he was out of breath--'and forsalary, I don't mind saying at once in round numbers, to prevent anydissatisfaction--though it's more than I've been accustomed to give--fifteen shillings a week, and find yourself. There!'With this handsome offer, Mr Gregsbury once more threw himself backin his chair, and looked like a man who had been most profligatelyliberal, but is determined not to repent of it notwithstanding.'Fifteen shillings a week is not much,' said Nicholas, mildly.'Not much! Fifteen shillings a week not much, young man?' cried MrGregsbury. 'Fifteen shillings a--''Pray do not suppose that I quarrel with the sum, sir,' repliedNicholas; 'for I am not ashamed to confess, that whatever it may bein itself, to me it is a great deal. But the duties andresponsibilities make the recompense small, and they are so veryheavy that I fear to undertake them.''Do you decline to undertake them, sir?' inquired Mr Gregsbury, withhis hand on the bell-rope.'I fear they are too great for my powers, however good my will maybe, sir,' replied Nicholas.'That is as much as to say that you had rather not accept the place,and that you consider fifteen shillings a week too little,' said MrGregsbury, ringing. 'Do you decline it, sir?''I have no alternative but to do so,' replied Nicholas.'Door, Matthews!' said Mr Gregsbury, as the boy appeared.'I am sorry I have troubled you unnecessarily, sir,' said Nicholas,'I am sorry you have,' rejoined Mr Gregsbury, turning his back uponhim. 'Door, Matthews!''Good-morning, sir,' said Nicholas.'Door, Matthews!' cried Mr Gregsbury.The boy beckoned Nicholas, and tumbling lazily downstairs beforehim, opened the door, and ushered him into the street. With a sadand pensive air, he retraced his steps homewards.Smike had scraped a meal together from the remnant of last night'ssupper, and was anxiously awaiting his return. The occurrences ofthe morning had not improved Nicholas's appetite, and, by him, thedinner remained untasted. He was sitting in a thoughtful attitude,with the plate which the poor fellow had assiduously filled with thechoicest morsels, untouched, by his side, when Newman Noggs lookedinto the room.'Come back?' asked Newman.'Yes,' replied Nicholas, 'tired to death: and, what is worse, mighthave remained at home for all the good I have done.''Couldn't expect to do much in one morning,' said Newman.'Maybe so, but I am sanguine, and did expect,' said Nicholas, 'andam proportionately disappointed.' Saying which, he gave Newman anaccount of his proceedings.'If I could do anything,' said Nicholas, 'anything, however slight,until Ralph Nickleby returns, and I have eased my mind byconfronting him, I should feel happier. I should think it nodisgrace to work, Heaven knows. Lying indolently here, like a half-tamed sullen beast, distracts me.''I don't know,' said Newman; 'small things offer--they would pay therent, and more--but you wouldn't like them; no, you could hardly beexpected to undergo it--no, no.''What could I hardly be expected to undergo?' asked Nicholas,raising his eyes. 'Show me, in this wide waste of London, anyhonest means by which I could even defray the weekly hire of thispoor room, and see if I shrink from resorting to them! Undergo! Ihave undergone too much, my friend, to feel pride or squeamishnessnow. Except--' added Nicholas hastily, after a short silence,'except such squeamishness as is common honesty, and so much prideas constitutes self-respect. I see little to choose, betweenassistant to a brutal pedagogue, and toad-eater to a mean andignorant upstart, be he member or no member.''I hardly know whether I should tell you what I heard this morning,or not,' said Newman.'Has it reference to what you said just now?' asked Nicholas.'It has.''Then in Heaven's name, my good friend, tell it me,' said Nicholas.'For God's sake consider my deplorable condition; and, while Ipromise to take no step without taking counsel with you, give me, atleast, a vote in my own behalf.'Moved by this entreaty, Newman stammered forth a variety of mostunaccountable and entangled sentences, the upshot of which was, thatMrs Kenwigs had examined him, at great length that morning, touchingthe origin of his acquaintance with, and the whole life, adventures,and pedigree of, Nicholas; that Newman had parried these questionsas long as he could, but being, at length, hard pressed and driveninto a corner, had gone so far as to admit, that Nicholas was atutor of great accomplishments, involved in some misfortunes whichhe was not at liberty to explain, and bearing the name of Johnson.That Mrs Kenwigs, impelled by gratitude, or ambition, or maternalpride, or maternal love, or all four powerful motives conjointly,had taken secret conference with Mr Kenwigs, and had finallyreturned to propose that Mr Johnson should instruct the four MissKenwigses in the French language as spoken by natives, at the weeklystipend of five shillings, current coin of the realm; being at therate of one shilling per week, per each Miss Kenwigs, and oneshilling over, until such time as the baby might be able to take itout in grammar.'Which, unless I am very much mistaken,' observed Mrs Kenwigs inmaking the proposition, 'will not be very long; for such cleverchildren, Mr Noggs, never were born into this world, I do believe.''There,' said Newman, 'that's all. It's beneath you, I know; but Ithought that perhaps you might--''Might!' cried Nicholas, with great alacrity; 'of course I shall. Iaccept the offer at once. Tell the worthy mother so, without delay,my dear fellow; and that I am ready to begin whenever she pleases.'Newman hastened, with joyful steps, to inform Mrs Kenwigs of hisfriend's acquiescence, and soon returning, brought back word thatthey would be happy to see him in the first floor as soon asconvenient; that Mrs Kenwigs had, upon the instant, sent out tosecure a second-hand French grammar and dialogues, which had longbeen fluttering in the sixpenny box at the bookstall round thecorner; and that the family, highly excited at the prospect of thisaddition to their gentility, wished the initiatory lesson to comeoff immediately.And here it may be observed, that Nicholas was not, in the ordinarysense of the word, a young man of high spirit. He would resent anaffront to himself, or interpose to redress a wrong offered toanother, as boldly and freely as any knight that ever set lance inrest; but he lacked that peculiar excess of coolness and great-minded selfishness, which invariably distinguish gentlemen of highspirit. In truth, for our own part, we are disposed to look uponsuch gentleman as being rather incumbrances than otherwise in risingfamilies: happening to be acquainted with several whose spiritprevents their settling down to any grovelling occupation, and onlydisplays itself in a tendency to cultivate moustachios, and lookfierce; and although moustachios and ferocity are both very prettythings in their way, and very much to be commended, we confess to adesire to see them bred at the owner's proper cost, rather than atthe expense of low-spirited people.Nicholas, therefore, not being a high-spirited young man accordingto common parlance, and deeming it a greater degradation to borrow,for the supply of his necessities, from Newman Noggs, than to teachFrench to the little Kenwigses for five shillings a week, acceptedthe offer with the alacrity already described, and betook himself tothe first floor with all convenient speed.Here, he was received by Mrs Kenwigs with a genteel air, kindlyintended to assure him of her protection and support; and here, too,he found Mr Lillyvick and Miss Petowker; the four Miss Kenwigses ontheir form of audience; and the baby in a dwarf porter's chair witha deal tray before it, amusing himself with a toy horse without ahead; the said horse being composed of a small wooden cylinder, notunlike an Italian iron, supported on four crooked pegs, and paintedin ingenious resemblance of red wafers set in blacking.'How do you do, Mr Johnson?' said Mrs Kenwigs. 'Uncle--Mr Johnson.''How do you do, sir?' said Mr Lillyvick--rather sharply; for he hadnot known what Nicholas was, on the previous night, and it wasrather an aggravating circumstance if a tax collector had been toopolite to a teacher.'Mr Johnson is engaged as private master to the children, uncle,'said Mrs Kenwigs.'So you said just now, my dear,' replied Mr Lillyvick.'But I hope,' said Mrs Kenwigs, drawing herself up, 'that that willnot make them proud; but that they will bless their own goodfortune, which has born them superior to common people's children.Do you hear, Morleena?''Yes, ma,' replied Miss Kenwigs.'And when you go out in the streets, or elsewhere, I desire that youdon't boast of it to the other children,' said Mrs Kenwigs; 'andthat if you must say anything about it, you don't say no more than"We've got a private master comes to teach us at home, but we ain'tproud, because ma says it's sinful." Do you hear, Morleena?''Yes, ma,' replied Miss Kenwigs again.'Then mind you recollect, and do as I tell you,' said Mrs Kenwigs.'Shall Mr Johnson begin, uncle?''I am ready to hear, if Mr Johnson is ready to commence, my dear,'said the collector, assuming the air of a profound critic. 'Whatsort of language do you consider French, sir?''How do you mean?' asked Nicholas.'Do you consider it a good language, sir?' said the collector; 'apretty language, a sensible language?''A pretty language, certainly,' replied Nicholas; 'and as it has aname for everything, and admits of elegant conversation abouteverything, I presume it is a sensible one.''I don't know,' said Mr Lillyvick, doubtfully. 'Do you call it acheerful language, now?''Yes,' replied Nicholas, 'I should say it was, certainly.''It's very much changed since my time, then,' said the collector,'very much.''Was it a dismal one in your time?' asked Nicholas, scarcely able torepress a smile.'Very,' replied Mr Lillyvick, with some vehemence of manner. 'It'sthe war time that I speak of; the last war. It may be a cheerfullanguage. I should be sorry to contradict anybody; but I can onlysay that I've heard the French prisoners, who were natives, andought to know how to speak it, talking in such a dismal manner, thatit made one miserable to hear them. Ay, that I have, fifty times,sir--fifty times!'Mr Lillyvick was waxing so cross, that Mrs Kenwigs thought itexpedient to motion to Nicholas not to say anything; and it was notuntil Miss Petowker had practised several blandishments, to softenthe excellent old gentleman, that he deigned to break silence byasking,'What's the water in French, sir?''L'eau,' replied Nicholas.'Ah!' said Mr Lillyvick, shaking his head mournfully, 'I thought asmuch. Lo, eh? I don't think anything of that language--nothing atall.''I suppose the children may begin, uncle?' said Mrs Kenwigs.'Oh yes; they may begin, my dear,' replied the collector,discontentedly. 'I have no wish to prevent them.'This permission being conceded, the four Miss Kenwigses sat in arow, with their tails all one way, and Morleena at the top: whileNicholas, taking the book, began his preliminary explanations. MissPetowker and Mrs Kenwigs looked on, in silent admiration, brokenonly by the whispered assurances of the latter, that Morleena wouldhave it all by heart in no time; and Mr Lillyvick regarded the groupwith frowning and attentive eyes, lying in wait for something uponwhich he could open a fresh discussion on the language.