Laura

by H.H. Munro (SAKI)

　　

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"You are not really dying, are you?" asked Amanda."I have the doctor's permission to live tillTuesday," said Laura."But to-day is Saturday; this is serious!" gaspedAmanda."I don't know about it being serious; it iscertainly Saturday," said Laura."Death is always serious," said Amanda."I never said I was going to die. I am presumablygoing to leave off being Laura, but I shall go on beingsomething. An animal of some kind, I suppose. You see,when one hasn't been very good in the life one has justlived, one reincarnates in some lower organism. And Ihaven't been very good, when one comes to think of it.I've been petty and mean and vindictive and all that sortof thing when circumstances have seemed to warrant it.""Circumstances never warrant that sort of thing,"said Amanda hastily."If you don't mind my saying so," observed Laura,"Egbert is a circumstance that would warrant any amountof that sort of thing. You're married to him - that'sdifferent; you've sworn to love, honour, and endure him:I haven't.""I don't see what's wrong with Egbert," protestedAmanda."Oh, I daresay the wrongness has been on my part,"admitted Laura dispassionately; "he has merely been theextenuating circumstance. He made a thin, peevish kindof fuss, for instance, when I took the collie puppiesfrom the farm out for a run the other day.""They chased his young broods of speckled Sussex anddrove two sitting hens off their nests, besides runningall over the flower beds. You know how devoted he is tohis poultry and garden.""Anyhow, he needn't have gone on about it for theentire evening and then have said, `Let's say no moreabout it' just when I was beginning to enjoy thediscussion. That's where one of my petty vindictiverevenges came in," added Laura with an unrepentantchuckle; "I turned the entire family of speckled Sussexinto his seedling shed the day after the puppy episode.""How could you?" exclaimed Amanda."It came quite easy," said Laura; "two of the henspretended to be laying at the time, but I was firm.""And we thought it was an accident!""You see," resumed Laura, "I really have somegrounds for supposing that my next incarnation will be ina lower organism. I shall be an animal of some kind. Onthe other hand, I haven't been a bad sort in my way, so Ithink I may count on being a nice animal, somethingelegant and lively, with a love of fun. An otter,perhaps.""I can't imagine you as an otter," said Amanda."Well, I don't suppose you can imagine me as anangel, if it comes to that," said Laura.Amanda was silent. She couldn't."Personally I think an otter life would be ratherenjoyable," continued Laura; "salmon to eat all the yearround, and the satisfaction of being able to fetch thetrout in their own homes without having to wait for hourstill they condescend to rise to the fly you've beendangling before them; and an elegant svelte figure - ""Think of the otter hounds," interposed Amanda; "howdreadful to be hunted and harried and finally worried todeath!""Rather fun with half the neighbourhood looking on,and anyhow not worse than this Saturday-to-Tuesdaybusiness of dying by inches; and then I should go on intosomething else. If I had been a moderately good otter Isuppose I should get back into human shape of some sort;probably something rather primitive - a little brown,unclothed Nubian boy, I should think.""I wish you would be serious," sighed Amanda; "youreally ought to be if you're only going to live tillTuesday."As a matter of fact Laura died on Monday."So dreadfully upsetting," Amanda complained to heruncle-in-law, Sir Lulworth Quayne. "I've asked quite alot of people down for golf and fishing, and therhododendrons are just looking their best.""Laura always was inconsiderate," said Sir Lulworth;"she was born during Goodwood week, with an Ambassadorstaying in the house who hated babies.""She had the maddest kind of ideas," said Amanda;"do you know if there was any insanity in her family?""Insanity? No, I never heard of any. Her fatherlives in West Kensington, but I believe he's sane on allother subjects.""She had an idea that she was going to bereincarnated as an otter," said Amanda."One meets with those ideas of reincarnation sofrequently, even in the West," said Sir Lulworth, "thatone can hardly set them down as being mad. And Laura wassuch an unaccountable person in this life that I shouldnot like to lay down definite rules as to what she mightbe doing in an after state.""You think she really might have passed into someanimal form?" asked Amanda. She was one of those whoshape their opinions rather readily from the standpointof those around them.Just then Egbert entered the breakfast-room, wearingan air of bereavement that Laura's demise would have beeninsufficient, in itself, to account for."Four of my speckled Sussex have been killed," heexclaimed; "the very four that were to go to the show onFriday. One of them was dragged away and eaten right inthe middle of that new carnation bed that I've been tosuch trouble and expense over. My best flower bed and mybest fowls singled out for destruction; it almost seemsas if the brute that did the deed had special knowledgehow to be as devastating as possible in a short space oftime.""Was it a fox, do you think?" asked Amanda."Sounds more like a polecat," said Sir Lulworth."No," said Egbert, "there were marks of webbed feetall over the place, and we followed the tracks down tothe stream at the bottom of the garden; evidently anotter."Amanda looked quickly and furtively across at SirLulworth.Egbert was too agitated to eat any breakfast, andwent out to superintend the strengthening of the poultryyard defences."I think she might at least have waited till thefuneral was over," said Amanda in a scandalised voice."It's her own funeral, you know," said Sir Lulworth;"it's a nice point in etiquette how far one ought to showrespect to one's own mortal remains."Disregard for mortuary convention was carried tofurther lengths next day; during the absence of thefamily at the funeral ceremony the remaining survivors ofthe speckled Sussex were massacred. The marauder's lineof retreat seemed to have embraced most of the flowerbeds on the lawn, but the strawberry beds in the lowergarden had also suffered."I shall get the otter hounds to come here at theearliest possible moment," said Egbert savagely."On no account! You can't dream of such a thing!"exclaimed Amanda. "I mean, it wouldn't do, so soon aftera funeral in the house.""It's a case of necessity," said Egbert; "once anotter takes to that sort of thing it won't stop.""Perhaps it will go elsewhere now there are no morefowls left," suggested Amanda."One would think you wanted to shield the beast,"said Egbert."There's been so little water in the stream lately,"objected Amanda; "it seems hardly sporting to hunt ananimal when it has so little chance of taking refugeanywhere.""Good gracious!" fumed Egbert, "I'm not thinkingabout sport. I want to have the animal killed as soon aspossible."Even Amanda's opposition weakened when, duringchurch time on the following Sunday, the otter made itsway into the house, raided half a salmon from the larderand worried it into scaly fragments on the Persian rug inEgbert's studio."We shall have it hiding under our beds and bitingpieces out of our feet before long," said Egbert, andfrom what Amanda knew of this particular otter she feltthat the possibility was not a remote one.On the evening preceding the day fixed for the huntAmanda spent a solitary hour walking by the banks of thestream, making what she imagined to be hound noises. Itwas charitably supposed by those who overheard herperformance, that she was practising for farmyardimitations at the forth-coming village entertainment.It was her friend and neighbour, Aurora Burret, whobrought her news of the day's sport."Pity you weren't out; we had quite a good day. Wefound at once, in the pool just below your garden.""Did you - kill?" asked Amanda."Rather. A fine she-otter. Your husband got ratherbadly bitten in trying to 'tail it.' Poor beast, I feltquite sorry for it, it had such a human look in its eyeswhen it was killed. You'll call me silly, but do youknow who the look reminded me of? My dear woman, what isthe matter?"When Amanda had recovered to a certain extent fromher attack of nervous prostration Egbert took her to theNile Valley to recuperate. Change of scene speedilybrought about the desired recovery of health and mentalbalance. The escapades of an adventurous otter in searchof a variation of diet were viewed in their proper light.Amanda's normally placid temperament reasserted itself.Even a hurricane of shouted curses, coming from herhusband's dressing-room, in her husband's voice, buthardly in his usual vocabulary, failed to disturb herserenity as she made a leisurely toilet one evening in aCairo hotel."What is the matter? What has happened?" she askedin amused curiosity."The little beast has thrown all my clean shirtsinto the bath! Wait till I catch you, you little - ""What little beast?" asked Amanda, suppressing adesire to laugh; Egbert's language was so hopelesslyinadequate to express his outraged feelings."A little beast of a naked brown Nubian boy,"spluttered Egbert.And now Amanda is seriously ill.

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