Part Three: Chapter 19

by Leo Tolstoy

　　In spite of Vronsky's apparently frivolous life in society, hewas a man who hated irregularity. In early youth in the Corps ofPages, he had experienced the humiliation of a refusal, when hehad tried, being in difficulties, to borrow money, and since thenhe had never once put himself in the same position again.

　　In order to keep his affairs in some sort of order, he used aboutfive times a year (more or less frequently, according tocircumstances) to shut himself up alone and put all his affairsinto definite shape. This he used to call his day of reckoningor faire la lessive.

　　On waking up the day after the races, Vronsky put on a whitelinen coat, and without shaving or taking his bath, hedistributed about the table moneys, bills, and letters, and setto work. Petritsky, who knew he was ill-tempered on suchoccasions, on waking up and seeing his comrade at thewriting-table, quietly dressed and went out without getting inhis way.

　　Every man who knows to the minutest details all the complexity ofthe conditions surrounding him, cannot help imagining that thecomplexity of these conditions, and the difficulty of making themclear, is something exceptional and personal, peculiar tohimself, and never supposes that others are surrounded by just ascomplicated an array of personal affairs as he is. So indeed itseemed to Vronsky. And not with out inward pride, and notwithout reason, he thought that any other man would long ago havebeen in difficulties, would have been forced to some dishonorablecourse, if he had found himself in such a difficult position.But Vronsky felt that now especially it was essential for him toclear up and define his position if he were to avoid getting intodifficulties.

　　What Vronsky attacked first as being the easiest was hispecuniary position. Writing out on note paper in his minute handall that he owed, he added up the amount and found that his debtsamounted to seventeen thousand and some odd hundreds, which heleft out for the sake of clearness. Reckoning up his money andhis bank book, he found that he had left one thousand eighthundred roubles, and nothing coming in before the New Year.Reckoning over again his list of debts, Vronsky copied it,dividing it into three classes. In the first class he put thedebts which he would have to pay at once, or for which he must inany case have the money ready so that on demand for payment therecould not be a moment's delay in paying. Such debts amounted toabout four thousand: one thousand five hundred for a horse, andtwo thousand five hundred as surety for a young comrade,Venovsky, who had lost that sum to a cardsharper in Vronsky'spresence. Vronsky had wanted to pay the money at the time (hehad that amount then), but Venovsky and Yashvin had insisted thatthey would pay and not Vronsky, who had not played. That was sofar well, but Vronsky knew that in this dirty business, thoughhis only share in it was undertaking by word of mouth to besurety for Venovsky, it was absolutely necessary for him to havethe two thousand five hundred roubles so as to be able to flingit at the swindler, and have no more words with him. And so forthis first and most important division he must have four thousandroubles. The second class--eight thousand roubles--consistedof less important debts. These were principally accounts owingin connection with his race horses, to the purveyor of oats andhay, the English saddler, and so on. He would have to pay sometwo thousand roubles on these debts too, in order to be quitefree from anxiety. The last class of debts--to shops, tohotels, to his tailor--were such as need not be considered. Sothat he needed at least six thousand roubles for currentexpenses, and he only had one thousand eight hundred. For a manwith one hundred thousand roubles of revenue, which was whateveryone fixed as Vronsky's income, such debts, one wouldsuppose, could hardly be embarrassing; but the fact was that hewas far from having one hundred thousand. His father's immenseproperty, which alone yielded a yearly income of two hundredthousand, was left undivided between the brothers. At the timewhen the elder brother, with a mass of debts, married PrincessVarya Tchirkova, the daughter of a Decembrist without any fortunewhatever, Alexey had given up to his elder brother almost thewhole income from his father's estate, reserving for himself onlytwenty-five thousand a year from it. Alexey had said at the timeto his brother that that sum would be sufficient for him until hemarried, which he probably never would do. And his brother, whowas in command of one of the most expensive regiments, and wasonly just married, could not decline the gift. His mother, whohad her own separate property, had allowed Alexey every yeartwenty thousand in addition to the twenty-five thousand he hadreserved, and Alexey had spent it all. Of late his mother,incensed with him on account of his love affair and his leavingMoscow, had given up sending him the money. And in consequenceof this, Vronsky, who had been in the habit of living on thescale of forty-five thousand a year, having only received twentythousand that year, found himself now in difficulties. To getout of these difficulties, he could not apply to his mother formoney. Her last letter, which he had received the day before,had particularly exasperated him by the hints in it that she wasquite ready to help him to succeed in the world and in the army,but not to lead a life which was a scandal to all good society.His mother's attempt to buy him stung him to the quick and madehim feel colder than ever to her. But he could not draw backfrom the generous word when it was once uttered, even though hefelt now, vaguely foreseeing certain eventualities in hisintrigue with Madame Karenina, that this generous word had beenspoken thoughtlessly, and that even though he were not married hemight need all the hundred thousand of income. But it wasimpossible to draw back. He had only to recall his brother'swife, to remember how that sweet, delightful Varya sought, atevery convenient opportunity, to remind him that she rememberedhis generosity and appreciated it, to grasp the impossibility oftaking back his gift. It was as impossible as beating a woman,stealing, or lying. One thing only could and ought to be done,and Vronsky determined upon it without an instant's hesitation:to borrow money from a money-lender, ten thousand roubles, aproceeding which presented no difficulty, to cut down hisexpenses generally, and to sell his race horses. Resolving onthis, he promptly wrote a note to Rolandak, who had more thanonce sent to him with offers to buy horses from him. Then hesent for the Englishman and the money-lender, and divided whatmoney he had according to the accounts he intended to pay.Having finished this business, he wrote a cold and cutting answerto his mother. Then he took out of his notebook three notes ofAnna's, read them again, burned them, and remembering theirconversation on the previous day, he sank into meditation.